


Blood is Thicker than Water

by UNCPanda



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M, Family, Love, Sisters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28723170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UNCPanda/pseuds/UNCPanda
Summary: You'd grown up around the SVU squad room. The members of your sister's squad had been your family and helped Liv raise you. You left them and your sister  behind ten years ago for school and just never returned. When you get a call saying she's been kidnapped by William Lewis, you rush back without a thought. What you find is a very different squad, a broken sister, and a snarky ADA. When you decide to stay things begin to change, and maybe, just maybe you and your sister each find your own happy endings.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Original Female Character(s), Rafael Barba/Reader, Rafael Barba/You
Comments: 30
Kudos: 96





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Liv is a bit younger in this story in order for the timeline for the sister to work. This will not follow cannon. Cannon is my playground, and I'll be throwing out stuff I have no need for. Also, not a fan of Cassidy, so I might drag him a bit. He won't be around for long. Basically I’m playing puppet master.

You almost do a double take when you run into the building, it’s so vastly different from the station you remember as a child. You push those memories to the side and basically storm the building. The first person you run into is a familiar face, “Finn.” 

There’s a hint of happiness behind the panic in his eyes. “Have you found her? Please tell me you found her.”

Finn stares at you for a second and you call his name, “Finn.” 

“Sorry kid. Lost in a memory. You’re all grown up.” 

It’s been ten years since you’ve seen him, ten years since you’ve left New York. You soften at the look of fondness in his eyes, and you throw your arms around him. He crushes you in a bear hug. 

He leads you into the bullpen and gives you the details, “His name is William Lewis, and he’s a bad dude. I don’t want to scare you with the details.” 

You swallow the lump in your throat, and allow Finn to escort you to Liv’s desk. You sit down hesitantly, and he explains, “Everyone else is out looking for her. The Captain had me stay behind to be here to catch you up on everything.” 

You run your hands over your face and into your hair, “I swear my heart stopped when he called. The moment I heard his voice I just went still. Do you guys have any leads?” 

“We’ve followed a few. We’re getting close.” 

“Do you think she’s . . . ?” 

“Liv’s a fighter. She’ll get through this.” 

Your mind flashes back to your mother; her drunken tirades, the slaps, Liv stepping in. Liv had raised you from the time you were eight. Liv was around sixteen years old when you had been born. You’d been the result of a drunken one night stand. Your father had been less than stellar, and your mother even less so. Liv had been your true parent. And now, she was being held by a sadistic rapist. 

You stay in the precinct with Finn. He tries to distract you, he forces you to talk about what you’ve been up to. You tell him about school, your full ride. You tell him about your job, you’re a website designer, and you go into detail about your photography hobby. You talk about anything and everything, in order to keep your mind off of Liv. 

Despite leaving New York ten years ago, you’ve seen Liv at least three times a year since you’ve left. She’s come to you, and you’ve met in other random places for vacations. On top of that you talk several times a week and video chat. 

Eventually, Finn gets called out and you’re left to your own devices. You focus on the bullpen. It’s no longer dark, it’s more colorful, and much more modern. If you focus hard enough you can imagine Munch sharing conspiracy theories, or Finn threatening to hurt your newest crush if they hurt you, you can hear Cragen teaching you how to throw a baseball, and you can see Elliot helping you with your homework. 

“Excuse me.” You’re drawn out of your thoughts, and you turn to face a new face. You don’t recognize him, “Can I help you?” 

You study him for a second. He’s handsome, well dressed, older than you, but still really cute. The thoughts leave you when you remember why you’re there. You hold out your hand, “Y/N Benson.” 

He takes it, his brow scrunching as he does so, “Rafael Barba. Are you . . .?” 

“Liv is my older sister. You’re the ADA, right? She’s talked about you.” 

“I’m sorry, she hasn’t said anything . . .” 

You cross your arms against your chest, “She wouldn’t. She claims it keeps me safe.” 

He looks away from you for a minute, before he approaches again. He gestures with his arm, and you follow him into a conference room. He closes the door behind him, “I wish I could tell you that she’s going to be okay.”

You shake your head, “This isn’t the first time something bad has happened on the job. She’s come back with bruises so many times I lost count. When I was in college she went no contact because she was undercover with the FBI. It’s all part of the job. I grew up with it. I understand.” 

“Doesn’t mean the panic isn’t there. The intrusive thoughts.” 

You nod. You’d done your best to keep those away, but one finally breaks through, “What if I lose her Mr. Barba? She’s the only family I have left. She basically raised me.” 

He sits down next to you, and in a move that says discomfort he takes your hand, “She’ll get through this. She’ll come home, and when she does you’re going to need to give me some embarrassing stories that I can tease her with.” 

He says it with a small smile, and he succeeds in making you laugh, but you can see the worry in his eyes. The two of you settle in, and as you sit there staring at him, your sister’s words come back to you. She’d talked about this man like a brother. She’d recounted his antics in court starting with the belt, and moved on from there. And then one day, she had declared him the best DA that SVU had ever had. It had shocked you. You’d known Alex and Casey. Hell, Alex had gone prom dress shopping with you and Liv. 

At some point both Munch and Cassidy come in. You give the former a hug and glare at Cassidy. He had never been your favorite person. When you brush him off you swear you see Barba grin. You don’t meet any of the other new people. 

It takes another day before you get the news that your sister has been found. You stay at the station the entire time, and Rafael Barba stays with you for the majority of the time. He goes with you to the scene. 

You pass by a smiling Munch and Cragen and run to Liv when you see her. She’s broken, and bloody, but that doesn’t stop her from hugging you. It doesn’t stop her from clinging to you. The next few days are hell. They’re spent in the hospital, and it all passes in a blur. 

“I need to go back.” 

You plop down on the hotel bed beside her, “No. You really don’t.” 

“It’s our home. I raised you there.” 

“It's a crime scene. It compromised. I say we burn it to the ground.” 

Liv rolls her eyes, “Really? I got that place on a uni’s salary in order to take guardianship of you.” 

You nod, “It was the first place I felt safe, and it made mom somewhat get her shit together, but it’s not home.” you nudge her, “You’re my home.” 

She pulls you into a hug. Despite your feelings on the matter, you help her clean the apartment. The two of you talk about your old memories, and you give the place the going away it deserves. The only things you take with you are sentimental items. The rest can be replaced. 

You spend a week finding an apartment. And when you find a nice one with two bedrooms, and a lot of sunlight, you can almost see her exhale in relief. You stay in New York until Liv is ready to go back to work. Together, the two of you go to Serena’s grave. 

You had never made peace with your mother, not like Liv had. You resented her in a lot of ways, and you’re eternally grateful to Liv for raising you. 

You leave New York the same day Liv goes back to work. You hug for a solid ten minutes outside her new apartment building. You tell each other how much you love each other, you offer to stay, and she refuses. Cassidy is the one who takes you to the airport. 

“Still hate me?” 

You’re honest with him, “I think my sister deserves better.” 

“Like Stabler?” 

You shake your head, “Nope. She deserves someone who is going to love her. In the meantime you’ll do.” 

He rolls his eyes, “Thanks.” 

You turn to face him, “Are you seriously telling me that you’re willing to marry her? Maybe have a kid? Give her all the things she’s ever wanted?” 

He goes quiet, and you leave the car without a word. On the plane you realize you never met any of the new members of the squad. Maybe it’s better that way. The memories you have in SVU are precious, do you really want to muddy the waters? Your mind flashes to Rafael Barba, and you grin when the answer is yes. 

You’re home for three days when you get a call from Liv. Her voice is quiet, “How you doing kid?” 

You shrug even though you know she can’t see it, “Frustrated. I’m building a site for an impossible person. What about you?” 

“I’m . . .” not okay, you finish the sentence in your head. 

“Do you need me to come back. I’m more than happy to. I can work from anywhere.” 

Her voice is hoarse, “I know. I was counting on that.” You stiffen at that, you’d never expected her to actually take you up on it. “I was wondering if you’d like to come home . . . for good?” 

No, you don’t. You like your little suburb city where you don’t have to worry about someone grabbing you off the street, and where the sounds of the cabs don’t keep you up all night. But this is Liv. This is your sister, your family. 

You lean back in your chair, “You think Barba can get me out of my lease? It’s not up for another few months, and I’ll be damned if I’m letting these guys take anymore money from me.” 

She laughs, an honest to God laugh, and you know you’ve made the right decision. “Barba’s the best. If he can’t do it, no one can.” 

And with that reassurance the two of you start plotting your return.


	2. Chapter 2

Living with your sister again is . . . an adjustment. Despite constant communication, and a certain level of dependency on each other, you haven’t lived together in over a decade. A lot has changed in that time; you’ve grown up, graduated college, and started a career for yourself. Likewise, Liv is no longer that uni who was barely making enough for the groceries, she’s a detective now. A good one. That doesn’t mean she sees you as anything other than her kid sister. 

Living together is a lot of the time her reminding you to do things, entering your room without knocking, and obliterating other boundaries that she’s not used to being there. You’re patient, and things sort of seem to sink in when she comes in talking one night while you’re in the middle of a Zoom meeting and your client hears all about the Mehcad Carter case. She’s very apologetic, and she even tries to explain things to your bosses. By the end of it, you’ve opened a bottle of wine. 

“I’ve never seen her drink before.” 

Rafael is amused, he’s never seen Liv quite this happy before, or this animated, “Last time I checked she was legal over seven years ago.” 

Liv laughs, “True, but she rarely drinks. She’s cautious after what happened with our mother.” She doesn’t expand on it, and Rafael doesn’t ask. It’s none of his business. However, he has noticed that Liv has been much more open these past few weeks, and he’s pretty sure he isn’t the only one to notice. 

Munch is quick to talk about old times, and how you used to come into the squad room everyday after school, Finn talks about scaring your prom date, and the Captain talks about taking you to baseball games. You played softball in highschool because of him, and you were one of the best. 

Amaro and Rollins seem to take it personally, that they haven’t met you. Despite having been back for several weeks you haven’t come by the squad room. Liv is quick to reassure them that you’ll stop by frequently once you’re all more settled in, and she’s even quicker to set up a night out for everyone. The entire squad seems excited about the idea, and Rafael is also given an invite. 

He decides to go at the last minute, after he can’t stare at documents for the case anymore, and when he’s just about ready to give up on humanity. When he gets there he finds you outside, bundled in a jacket, and leaning against a brick wall. “I can’t believe they let you come out here alone.” 

You smile at him, and he thinks it must be frustrating being seen as a kid when you’re obviously not. “I was about five seconds away from punching Cassidy. Last time I checked that was a punishable crime. What say you counselor?” 

He puckers his lips as though he’s debating, finally he nods, “Personally, I’d cut you a deal. No jail time, maybe some anger management.” 

“That might be worth it.” 

He moves to stand a little closer to you, “You have to be freezing.” 

You shake your head, “I’m okay. I’m not ready to head back in yet.” 

It’s none of his business, he knows that, but it doesn’t keep him from asking, “You okay?”

You nod, “In a lot of ways, it seems like time stood still while I was gone. I listen to Munch talk about conspiracy theories, or talk with uncle Don about the Mets or Yankees and it’s like I’m twelve again. And then I’m jolted back to reality, because I’m not. I’m not studying in interrogation rooms. Elliot is gone, Munch and Cragen are both really close to retirement, and my sister . . . my sister is dating a jackass that I can not stand.” 

He laughs with you at that, “That deal is still good.” 

You take another deep breath, “I guess we better head in.” 

He follows you in, and you joke about what you found outside. Rafael watches closely, and he sees what you’re talking about. Liv is quick to order for you, and the old guard is just as quick to bring up old stories. Cassidy brings up some truly embarrassing moments, and Rafael is almost certain he can make a case for temporary insanity. It’s when Finn brings up your princess halloween costume that he steps in. He asks you about your work. 

You light up as you give details about your job. You build and manage websites, and even run some PR for a few small companies. Amaro is quick to jump in on that and ask you questions. You and Rollins then seem to bond over some tech thing, and start speaking in a jargon he doesn’t understand. By the end of the night, you’ve relayed a few new stories about places you’ve traveled, and people you’ve worked with. 

By the time the end of the night rolls around, he can honestly say it’s been a very enjoyable evening. One of the best he’s had in awhile. When everyone begins to head out, Liv links her arm with yours and you shoot her a smile. Out of the corner of his eye he watches Cassidy frown. Maybe he just wouldn’t bring charges if you punched him? 

“That was so much fun.” You listen to Liv, and smile at the amount of joy in her voice, “I’m so glad you met everyone. Maybe now you’ll start coming by the squad more often, like old times.” 

You make a noncommitment. You’d had fun. You’d been frustrated as hell with all of your childhood stories, and you’d felt bad for Amanda and Nick having to sit through them. When you had excused yourself outside you’d been close to just going home, and then Barba had stopped you. He’d been kind, and empathetic, and back inside he had steered the conversation in such a subtle way you could have kissed him for it. It had allowed you to feel like yourself instead of just Liv's little sister. 

To your horror Cassidy comes home with you, and when he and Liv head back to her bedroom, you consider going out on your own. You scrap that idea quickly. Growing up around SVU had left horror stories embedded in your brain. You weren’t going to tempt fate. Instead you plugged your headphones in and focused on a bit of work. 

The next day is Saturday, and you make sure you’re up and out of the apartment before Liv and Cassidy are up. You leave a note. You wander around the city a bit, you try to get a feel for it. You end up at the old precinct. There’s a rather large condemned sign out front. You pull your professional grade camera from your bag, a splurge you’d done after a rather big job, and start taking pictures. You debate going inside, but decide against it. You end up at the courthouses, snapping pictures here and there as you go. 

You’re a little surprised to see people wandering in and out. You’re certain they’re all DAs. And then you spot him. He’s walking up the steps, bundled in a different coat from the previous night. You ready your camera, and when you call his name,his head snaps towards you, and you snap his picture. 

He looks at you like you’re crazy, but still walks over to you. “Casing the place?” 

You nod, “Yeah, I’m looking to steal all those law books you have in your office.” 

“You’ve never been in my office.” 

You shrug, “Both Alex and Casey had them, so I’m assuming you have them too.” 

“No comment. What are you really doing here?” 

“Had to get out of the house. Needed some time that didn’t include Cassidy.” You look at the courthouse, “Plus I was reminiscing.” 

“I would have thought you’d had enough of that last night.” 

You throw a mock glare at him, “There’s a difference between having your childhood embarrassments brought out in front of people who are basically strangers, and looking back on the moments that made you who you are.” 

“And the courthouse played a role?” 

You nod, “I almost became a lawyer. Casey, Alex, and Liv had the entire path planned out. I can’t guarantee it, but I think Liv cried when I told her there was no way in hell I was going to law school… no offense.” 

“None taken.” 

You study him for a moment. There’s a small smile on his face, his hair is windblown, and his cheeks are rosy. You start mandhandeling him, and when he starts to protest you shoot him another mock glare. You adjust the settings on your camera and start snapping. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Taking a before picture. That way when you become a judge, which Liv is certain you will be, I can take an after photo.” 

He rolls his eyes, “The cold has seeped into your brain.” 

He makes a motion with his hand, and you continue to take pictures as he half heartedly grabs for the camera. You take one more snap when he’s right in front of you, it captures his eyes perfectly. Finally done, you stuff the camera away. 

Satisfied, he smiles, “Have you eaten?” 

“Don’t you have work to do? Isn’t that why you’re in a suit and here on a Saturday.” 

“I was. . . but after dealing with a brat I’m hungry.” 

“Lead the way counselor.” 

He takes you to a small cuban place, and you’re honest when it comes time to order, “I have absolutely no clue what to get.” 

“Trust me?” 

You shrug, “Why not?” 

He orders for you in spanish, and leads you to a table in the back. “I used to come here with my mother every once in a while as a kid. The food is authentic, and better than the grease traps I usually frequent.” 

“So why’d you really flee the apartment?” 

“I’m that easy to read?”

“No..”

“Liv, bless her, still sees me as that kid, and she’s been treating me like it too. She did my laundry the other day, and ….”

You catch the raised eyebrow, and smirk and realize you’re about to tell him how your sister had grilled you about lingerie.

“Nevermind.”

Your food is brought over and in between bites Rafael says, “It’s normal. It happens to everyone. Even to me. I go home, and my mother has friends over, and all of a sudden every embarrassing story she has comes out. I’ll never be able to run for office.” 

You laugh, “I love Liv.” 

“Never said you didn’t.” 

“I don’t want to start an argument.” 

“But you do want to wander the streets of New York every morning? You want more childhood stories coming out?” 

“Good point. You should be a lawyer.” 

“Lay it out for her. She’ll understand.” 

The rest of the meal is spent talking about where you’ve traveled. It turns out that you’ve both been to the same Ski resort in Switzerland. Neither of you ski, but you both enjoy relaxing by the fire and reading. A small part of your heart hurts when he tells you that he goes every Christmas. 

When the food is all gone, and there’s no reason to linger, he walks you to the street, and puts you in a cab. Before you leave he encourages you one more time, “Tell Liv what’s on your mind. She’ll listen.” And before you can answer the cab is driving away. 

When you get home, Cassidy is gone and Liv is lying on the couch with a book. She smiles at you, “I can’t believe you left before breakfast. I was going to make those chocolate chip pancakes you love.” 

Liv had made those once a week for you from the time you were six until you went away to college. You sit down next to her, and she sits up. You take a breath, because you love Liv. The last thing you want is to hurt her feelings. “We need to talk.” 

Her brow furrows, “Have I driven you away already? Are you breaking up with me?” 

The humor in her voice has the desired effect. You grin and shake your head, “No, but you’re on your way to it.” 

You hesitate and she takes your hand, “Come on. You can tell me.” 

Rafael’s words echo in your head, “I’m not a kid anymore. Things won’t be the same as when I was a kid. I have a job, a real one. And your new team members are closer to my age than yours. The princess costume stories are embarrassing. I need to have my own . . .” 

You don’t even have to finish your sentence, as it dawns on Liv. “I’m sorry.” 

You shake your head, “It’s okay.” 

“It’s not. You’re right. You’re twenty eight, not eight. Sometimes I have trouble believing you’re not that adorable eight year old in a tutu going on and on about her recital, but it’s true.” 

You smile and squeeze her hand, “No more kid stories?” 

She laughs, “No promises, but they’ll be limited to the appropriate circumstance.” 

“No more barging into my room?” 

“Deal.” 

You hug your sister, and after a minute she still doesn’t let go, so you stay in the hug. When she does release you she asks two questions, “Does this mean we aren’t watching Disney movies anymore?” 

“Disney movies are for everyone, and when Mulan is playing you can damn well believe that we’re still belting out the lyrics.” 

Liv laughs, “Thank God! What about chocolate chip pancakes?”

“Once in a blue moon. I can’t take that much sugar anymore. I’m getting old.” 

The two of you dissolve into giggles. When Cassidy comes over later that night the two of you are belting out, “I’ll Make a Man Out of You,” and you’re wearing skin masks. He just goes and gets a beer.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point I’m saying, screw episode order and the timeline. For the most part, they’re pretty interchangeable. Basically, I’m making it my playground.. 
> 
> Also big shout out to those who helped with the Spanish in the chapter! It meant I didn’t have to use google translate. I’m very grateful for their help in the picking out phrases, terms of endearment, and their opinions. You guys rock!

You can actually see when things start to unravel between your sister, and Cassidy. It starts with him wanting to move in together, and her saying no. She likes it just being the two of you for right now. It continues when she wants to try something new, and he wants to stay with his usual spots. You don’t say anything, but when she comes home crying one night you make room on the couch, and she snuggles up next to you. 

It reminds you of your first heartbreak. You’d been in middle school, and absolutely crushed. She had called out of work, and kept you home from school to wallow. The two of you do the same thing now: Junk food, movies, and dancing it out. You blame Grey’s Anatomy. 

You’re in the middle of dancing around the apartment like idiots when there’s a knock on the door. You’re both dressed in leggings and t shirts, and you don’t stop dancing until you see who’s on the other side of the door. You go still at the sight of his smirk. “Mr. Barba?” 

“Rafael, and am I interrupting?” 

You bite the inside of your cheek and open the door wider so he can see Liv dancing, “Yes. Sister bonding.” 

He smiles, “Sorry about that, I still need to come in.” 

You step to the side, and this time it’s Liv who freezes at the sight of Barba, “Sorry to interrupt. I got worried when you called in sick, especially with this case we’re working.” 

Liv is possibly the worst actress you’ve ever seen, as she starts to fake a cough. You roll your eyes behind her back, and Barba catches it. He’s quick to put her out of her misery, “Oh please. Who am I going to tell?” 

Liv laughs, “Thanks.” 

“No problem. Heartbreak counts in the illness category, last time I checked. At the very least I think I can make an argument for it.” 

They both sit down on the couch, and you take a seat at the bar. You listen to their conversation while flipping through a fashion magazine. At some point Liv speaks to Amaro and Cragen and then Rollins. From there she starts to make a case for a woman who left her child home for two days … alone. 

In the end she gets riled up enough that she declares that she’s going into work. “What do you think?” 

You look up from your magazine at Barba, “I think that maybe I should change my hair color.” 

His brow furrows, “First of all, you have beautiful hair. I wouldn’t change it.” 

“Flatterer.” 

“Second of all, I meant the case.” 

You wag your finger at him, “Nope. Don’t drag me into this. I will listen to you vent, and I’ll listen to Liv vent, but I’m not getting involved. I don’t know enough about this stuff.” 

“Fair.” He leans back into the couch, and says, “I never expected you to throw an actual party when they broke up.” 

“Benson girls tradition, but I might be persuaded to let you join in.” 

“Yeah?” 

“If you ask nicely.” 

“Cuidado preciosa.” Before you can ask what he said, Liv reappears. She’s dressed in work attire, and her hair is actually presentable. 

“I will be back in a few hours. Do me a favor and have Chinese waiting, and a movie picked out.” 

You go ramrod straight at that, “I get to pick.” 

Her eyes go wide, “No.” 

“Please Liv, it’s my favorite.” 

“We must have watched that movie a thousand times. I can’t stand it.” 

“It’s magical, so don’t start.” 

She points at you, “A different movie.” 

And before you can stop her she’s out the door. 

Barba turns to you then, “Two questions. What movie is she talking about? And when did I become an afterthought?” 

“You’re the one who got her all riled up, you should know better. And Pride and Prejudice.” 

“BBC version or Keira Knightly?” 

You smile, “Knightly. I read the book in high school and must have forced Liv to watch it a thousand times. She actually hid it from me at one point. I didn’t get it back until I went off to college. You like Austen?” 

“Literature courses were my fun times in college. They were my break. I enjoyed Austen’s works a lot.” 

You finally plop down on the couch next to him. “Well, I’ve been abandoned, and if I make Liv watch it with me, you may have to put her on trial. I need a new victim. You want to watch with me?” 

He hesitates before he nods, “I could use the break, and until they fix this little mess I can’t do anything else.” 

You grin, “Chinese or pizza?” 

“Chinese.” 

Rafael ends up staying through the movie and one episode of Sherlock. You grin when you see that he is hooked on it. “The writing is really good.” 

“I know. It’s not dumbed down, and I love that he’s a jackass.” 

Rafael laughs at that. A call from Liv keeps him from watching the second episode. His phone is pressed against his ear as he pulls his suit jacket back on. He says okay a bunch of times before he hangs up. 

“Your sister is a taskmaster.” 

“Tell me something I don’t know.” 

He smiles at you, and then he stares for a minute. “You going to be okay here … by yourself? I doubt Liv is coming back tonight.” 

You nod, at the thoughtfulness, “I’ll be fine. I promise.” 

He stares at you for another second before he heads out the door. 

When the door closes behind him you go back to the speaker and hit play. As the music starts to blare, you start to dance; thrilled that your day ended better than you thought it would. 

As he headed away from your apartment and towards the street he could feel the call of private practice calling him. If he weren’t a prosecutor he wouldn’t be leaving you behind right now. A small part of him thinks it wrong, the attraction he feels towards you. It’s the same part of him who has become friends with Liv. He can’t imagine she’d be happy with him dating her baby sister. 

The age gap doesn’t bother him. At twenty eight and thirty-nine, it’s not that bad. You’re not too far separated and you actually seem to have a lot of the same interests. There’s also the fact that when he’s around you, he somehow feels lighter.

He hasn’t dated much in recent years. Yelina had screwed him up pretty bad. There had been a three month relationship here or there. Every once in a while he would hope for something more. Nothing ever became of it. He found it funny in a way, when he had been younger, just starting Harvard, he had imagined being long married by now with kids. He’s always wanted kids. He’d given up on it a while ago, when even his mother had stopped asking when he was going to give her a grandbaby. 

But you? There’s something about you, that makes him realize those dreams aren’t as dead as he thought. Maybe he needed to sign up for a dating app? Because you are off limits. 

He’s fully convinced that Liv is a mother bear who would do anything to protect her cub, and if she asked nicely enough he was sure that Cragen, Finn, and Munch would help bury his body. He pushes those thoughts away when the details about “Lacey Unknown” come to light. All of his energy becomes focused on getting the girl some justice. 

He’s had an excellent day. He’s gotten Jenny the justice she deserves and a four million dollar payout. He prays, actually prays that it’s enough to help her out. 

So when you knock on the door and stick your head in, his day gets even better,“To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I was in the neighborhood.”

“Oh really?” 

“Yeah, Liv told me all about your win. Called me right as I was finishing up work for the day. She actually squealed in delight, said that the squad was going for drinks, and I offered to come fetch you.” 

“Fetch me?” 

“Yep.” 

Your smile is contagious, and he can feel his own mouth mirroring it. “All right cariño.” The term of endearment slips out. And when you give him a puzzled look he doesn’t explain, he just grins, “Let’s go.”

And as you talk about your day, that warm feeling surrounds him, and he can’t help but think he could get used to this. And those thoughts he had pushed away days earlier come right back to the surface. He is so screwed.


	4. Chapter 4

“Well don’t you look fancy.” 

You look at Liv in your mirror. She’s lying on your bed, and smiling, “I’ve got a job interview for my company. Some law firm that wants me to design their new website. If I get it, it’ll be a hell of a job. Their old site is horrible and outdated, but it will bring in a nice chunk of change, and if I do a good enough job they might keep us on retainer.” You turn to face her, “Are these shoes too slutty.” 

Liv laughs, and rolls her eyes, before she rolls off the bed. It’s barely seven in the morning, and you know she didn’t get in until at least three, “What are you doing up? I figured you’d be fast asleep.” 

She shrugs, “We had a case with IAB and Cassidy. Had to take down a dirty precinct.” 

“Annnnnddd?” 

“What do you mean; and?” 

“Your breakup with Cassidy was amicable. He wasn’t going to start shit, I might not like the guy, but he didn’t do wrong by you. Plus you cracked the case. So something is wrong.” 

“Ed Tucker asked me out on a date.” 

You blink a few times, “Am I supposed to know who that is?” 

“IAB. He’s tried to take me down a few times.” 

You raise an eyebrow at that, “You or Elliot?” 

She thinks on it for a moment before shrugging. “Is he a good guy?” 

“IAB. . .” 

“Is taboo in the cop world. Yes, I know. There were many afternoons where I listened to you complain about it. However, and correct me if I’m wrong, they serve a purpose.” You take a step forward, “I know you don’t like to think about it, but not every cop is a good guy. Sounds to me like he’s doing his job.” 

She shrugs again, and then falls back on your bed, “I’m just going to stay here. Your bed is more comfy.” 

“Sleep away. I’ve got to get going.” You kiss your sister’s cheek and head out the door. 

The ride to the law offices isn’t a long one. You take the metro, and review your ideas for the sight in your head. The building is a tall one with all glass windows. When you get to the lobby, where the interviews are being held, you’re not surprised to see that your competition is mainly male. 

You have to wait for nearly half an hour, before a woman steps out and calls your name. You move to your feet and offer your hand. She shakes it as she walks and introduces herself as Rita Calhoun. 

“I was wondering when I’d see a woman. I was starting to lose hope.” 

You smile, “What can I say, I’ve always been a pleasant surprise.” 

She actually laughs at that. The interview is more of a conversation. You share just enough personable information to build a bond and then you engage her in ideas for the website. She lights up when you build off of some of her comments and ideas. 

You leave that afternoon with a good feeling in your gut.

Liv is still asleep in your bed when you get home, which means you’re stuck in the dress you wore for the interview. You take your heels off at the very least, send a follow up email to Ms. Calhoun, and an overview of the interview to your bosses. 

The next day you find out you’ve gotten the job, right after Liv tells you that Munch is retiring. She gives you the date and the time, and the dress code. In your head, you know it’s time, Munch has wanted out for a while, but he’s been a staple at SVU for as long as you can remember. It’s just another reason to not go by the squadroom, and maybe an excuse for you to run by the DA’s office. 

You liked Rafael Barba. He was smart, witty, and a lot of fun to look at. He treated you as an equal and he had no problem looking you in the eye when the two of you spoke. You like hanging out with him, and you’re willing to cling to any excuse in order to see him. 

You go bearing coffee. Rafael Barba is a caffeine junkie if you’ve ever seen one. His assistant tells you that he’s in court, and you decide to wait. He blows in like a storm twenty minutes later with none other than Rita Calhoun behind him. 

She smiles at you, “Ms. Benson. I didn’t think I’d find you here.” 

Rafael turns to you, “Why does the she-devil know you?” 

Rita scoffs, and you explain, “Ms. Calhoun’s company just hired me to design their website.” 

Rafael scoffs and you both follow him into the office. You watch as he sheds his jacket and then his vest, “You know, if you need money I can loan you some. You don’t have to sell your soul.” 

You roll your eyes, “Has anyone ever told you you’re dramatic?” 

Rita laughs, “You keep getting better and better.” 

“What are you doing here Corazón?” 

Your brow furrows at the Spanish, and you offer him the coffee cup, “Black coffee, I figure it’s what feeds the void inside of you.” 

“Oh, You’ve got jokes?” 

“Plenty of them, but I’m going to let you speak with Ms. Calhoun first.” 

Rafael can feel Rita’s eyes boring into him, and after a few minutes he gives in, “What?” 

“I’ve never seen you flirt before. You’re actually decent. I didn’t expect that.” 

He leans back in his chair, “Don’t start Rita.” 

“Oh no. We’re having this conversation. I like her. She was the only designer who came in and didn’t have the same ideas or present them with a god complex.” 

“Your client Rita?” 

She waves him off, “You’re not offering a deal I’d accept we both know that. This is more interesting.” 

“Rita. . .” 

“I’ve known you for over fifteen years Rafael. We were friends once.” 

“When we were on the same side!” 

“And just because you don’t agree with my choice to go into the private sector, doesn’t mean I don’t still consider you a friend. So do me a favor, pull the stick out of your ass, and ask her out.” 

“I’ve hung out with her like three times Rita.” 

“More than enough to know you’re attracted to her. Go on a few dates, find out if she can keep up with you. Something tells me she can. Stop letting Yelina affect that part of your life.” 

His head snaps up at that and Rita smiles, a rare, genuine one, “We were friends, remember?” 

She heads to the door, and waits there for a minute before you enter. She tells you she’ll call you tomorrow to set up a meeting, and then says, “Ask him about the belt in court.” And leaves with a laugh. 

Rafael wonders if a jury would really convict him for killing the witch. You raise an eyebrow at that, “Do I want to know?” 

“It was a case.” 

“Anndd.” The prompting is accompanied by a smile. And that smile melts him, he leads you to the couch and regretfully, he tells the whole story. By the end of it you’re quiet. He expected laughing or something else, that’s usually the case when that story is told. Instead you turn to him, and your fingers reach out and loosen his tie. He holds his breath as you pop the top button of his shirt and examine the skin, “At least the bastard didn’t leave a mark.” 

He takes in a deep breath, as your fingers lightly trail across his neck, he breaths out, “"No sabes lo que me estás haciendo”

“Do me a favor.” 

“Name it.” 

“Don’t go getting yourself killed. You’re the only reasonable sounding board I have.” 

He smiles, “What about Liv?” 

“You’re a lawyer. You should know the definition of reasonable.” 

Your fingers are still trailing lightly across his neck, when slowly they trail up and you cup his cheek. It’s an intimate moment, he can feel it. When your thumb starts rubbing back and forth, his eyes close, “No te detengas.” 

“One of these days you’re going to have to do two things for me.” 

His eyes open at that, “And what’s that?” 

“You’re going to have to tell me what you’re saying.” 

He smiles, “Not going to happen, What’s the other?” 

“You’re going to have to ask me out.” 

He grins at that, and covers your hand with his own, he doesn’t hesitate, “Tomorrow night, 8 o’clock. We can meet at an Italian place I know.” 

“You have yourself a deal counselor.” 

He slowly lets your hand go, and you boop his nose with your finger, and he rolls his eyes, “Really?” 

You stand up, “Yep.” You make your way to his desk, and write your number down on a post-it. “Send me the details.” 

As you walk out the door you make sure to add a little extra sway to your hips. 

His voice follows you, “Te veré mañana preciosa.”

To be honest, you’d like to say that the next day drags on, that you’re eagerly awaiting the date. In reality the day flies by. You’re busy at the Lawfirm’s office interviewing the top brass on things they’d like included in the website, and building ideas. You’re late. 

The moment the apartment door shuts behind you, you’re pulling off clothes. You take the fastest shower humanly possible and start in on your hair. You’re in the middle of blow drying, when Liv comes in, dressed in a very nice black dress, with her hair already done. 

You shut the dryer off and you stare at each other. You break first, “Date?” 

“Yep. You too?” 

“Yep.” 

There’s a moment of silence before she asks, “Can I borrow your black stilettos?” 

“Bottom of my closet, to the right. Can I borrow your bracelet?” 

“Which one?” 

“The pink beaded one.” 

“I’ll get it for you!” 

Then she’s gone, and you’re doing your makeup. Once you’re satisfied with your appearance you dash to your room, and start going through your closet. Liv comes in a second later, and deposits the bracelet on your dresser, and starts fastening her earrings. 

“Where are you going tonight?” 

“A little Italian place, Stefan’s or something like that.” 

“Who’s the guy?” 

Your eyes flash to her, as you pull out a cute dress. It’s a midi dress, light sage, with a cute floral pattern. It’s perfect for the late summer/ early fall weather. It’s also enough to distract Liv, 

“That’s cute. Can I borrow it?” 

You roll your eyes, “You already have my shoes.” 

“You still haven’t told me who the guy is.” 

“And I’m not going to.” 

She frowns at that, “Y/N . . .” 

You start herding her out of your room so you can get dressed. She goes reluctantly. You shimmy into your dress and debate either a nude heel or some sandals. You go for the sandals. You’ve just slid your sister’s bracelet onto your wrist when the doorbell rings. 

Liv’s voice rings out, “Y/N could you get that?” 

You make a mad dash to the door and yank it open, on the other side is a man. He’s probably a little older than your sister, his hair has already gone gray and he looks stern. “You must be the sister.” 

“You must be Ed.” 

He smiles and you step to the side to let him in, “Liv should be out any second. Can I get you something while you wait.” 

“I’m good. Thanks though.” 

“Great choice, because I’m on my way out, and if I leave now I can go without an interrogation.” 

It’s said as a joke, but his eyes narrow, “You have a date?” 

“Yes.” 

“You know this guy or meet him on an app?” 

“I know him.” 

He nods once, “You get in trouble or something happens to text your sister. We’ll be right over.” Dear Lord there were two of them now. 

“I couldn’t have said it better myself.” 

You turn to face your sister. She looks stunning in her black dress and your stilettos. And from the way Ed smiles you can tell he thinks so too. That is a point in his favor. You interrupt their staring, “You two kids have fun.” 

In unison they say, “Be safe.” 

You don’t respond. You catch a cab to the restaurant, and clutch your phone in your hand the entire way there. You keep expecting a text from him canceling everything, or at least him sending an apology that he’s going to be late. Instead he’s there and waiting for you outside the restaurant. 

He’s wearing slacks, a button down and blazer. His usual tie and waistcoat are gone, and the first two or three buttons of his shirt have been undone. He offers you his hand as you step out of the cab and you feel slightly like Cinderella, “Te ves hermosa. Perfecta."

“I’m going to assume that was a compliment.” 

He smiles, you love when he smiles. All the seriousness seems to melt away, “I said you look gorgeous. Perfect.” 

“It’s the shower. I should try that more often.” 

He laughs, and offers you his arm. The maitre'd greets him by name and leads you to a table right by a big bay window. Your eyes immediately go to the people walking by outside. Rafael is quick to pull your chair out for you, before taking his own seat and you tell him, “There was this place in college that I would go to, a bakery, it was open all night because most of the time that’s when college students needed the sugar. I would go there and sit by the window, and I’d people watch instead of doing my homework.” 

“And here I holed up in the library all through school.” 

You lean forward, “No all night bakeries at Harvard?” 

“Not when I was there.” 

The two of you stare at each other for several minutes, smiling like goons the entire time, until the waiter comes by and asks about wine. You let Rafael order. You’ve never been a big fan of alcohol. A drink once in a blue moon is all you need. 

When the waiter is gone he asks, “Do you like seafood?” 

“Love it.” 

“They have really good seafood alfredo here.” 

“Do you come here a lot?” 

He considers his answer, “I used to. When I first started out as a DA, I had next to no money. I was in this horrible little office, I shared a desk with two other ADA’s in Brooklyn. Sometimes I just needed to get away, and I found this place. I’d bring my work and sit here for hours. By the end of the year I knew everyone who worked here. 

“It’s gotten more popular over the years, but they’re always nice enough to put this table on hold for me if I call ahead. I’m glad you like it.” 

“If the food is as good as the company, it might just be my new favorite restaurant.” 

The rest of the night flies by, as the two of you trade book recommendations back and forth. There’s a mix of titles. He tells you how he stayed up until two one morning, trying to get caught up on Sherlock. The two of you compare the small little details you noticed. 

Then you share a plate of zeppole for dessert. By the end you are stuffed. You let out a groan, as you lean back in your chair and Rafael laughs, “That good?” 

You nod vigorously, and he asks for the check. You offer to pay but he swats your hands away. And when the plates are cleared you stand to leave. There’s a line outside, and you’re not going to make other people wait. His hand settles on the small of your back as you leave. And when you start walking down the street you take his arm. 

You make your way to Riverside Park where the two of you just stroll. “I’m really glad I didn’t go for the heels tonight.” 

“Yeah?” 

“You should be too, otherwise you’d probably be giving me a piggy back ride right now.” 

He teases you, “You want to hop on?” 

You swat lightly at his chest, and his arm moves to go around your waist, pulling you closer to him as the two of you walk. “I love the park during this time of year, the trees are green, there’s flowers everywhere.” 

“We’ll have to come during the day sometime.” 

“A second date already?” 

He stops, “Absolutely.” 

“Can I plan it?” 

“No.” 

“Why not?” 

He smiles, “Porque eres más traviesa de lo que pareces” 

“Okay, the Spanish thing? Totally, sexy. But you have to start telling me what you’re saying.” 

“Va a ser que no.” 

You let out a groan of frustration, but Rafael just takes your hand and leads you on. 

By the time you get home it’s one in the morning. Rafael splits the cab with you, and even walks you to the door. It’s there that he asks, “Does Liv know.” 

You shake your head, “No. Liv means well, and she’s been doing a lot better with boundaries since we talked, but me dating has always been weird for her. It’s hard for her to turn off the job.”

He nods, and steps forward, his hands go to your waist, and you step into him, your arms wrapping around his neck, “Will it bother you if we keep it a secret for now?” 

“No. I understand. Será nuestro secreto.” 

You go up on your tiptoes, “I can guess what you said there.” Your voice is husky and inviting, and Rafel takes advantage of it. His lips are on yours and you honestly think he’s the best kisser ever. His arms tighten around you and when you pull back, you’re both a little out of breath. 

He pecks your lips one more time before he steps back. This time he places the kiss on your forehead, “Buenas noches cariño. I’ll call you tomorrow.” 

You watch him until he’s out of sight. It’s at that point you enter the apartment. The first thing you notice are the men’s shoes next to the door. The second thing you notice is Ed Tucker standing at your counter drinking a glass of water. He’s dressed in an undershirt and boxers. Looks like your sister got lucky. 

“Hi.” 

You smile at him, “Hi Ed.” 

“I was just getting some water, I’m sorry.” 

You wave off the excuses, “It’s not a big deal. At least you’re dressed. One time I came home to Cassidy drinking milk out of the carton . . . naked.” 

“Oh god.” The look of disgust on his face makes you smile.

“Trust me, I know. I came very close to having to bleach my eyes or have a lobotomy.” 

You sit down at one of the bar stools, “You like my sister, right Ed?” 

“Yeah.” 

“You’re not going to hurt her, right?” 

He shakes his head, “I have no plans to.” 

You take a deep breath, “Look I never liked Cassidy. He and Liv, never wanted the same things. He never wanted to grow up, and my sister, she wants to make a life with someone. Now from the dopey grins you gave each other earlier tonight, you two like each other. So what are your intentions with my sister?” 

Most men would have treated your question like a joke, Ed doesn’t. “I’m close to retirement. I’ve been married once, it didn’t last. She didn’t understand. The thing is, I don’t want to be alone. It’s been one date but Liv and I, we get on well. We think alike. For us the job has been number one for a long time and we’re ready to move it to a different position. So right now, we’re figuring it all out, but I have no intentions of breaking your sister’s heart.” 

You smile, “Good answer. For that I’ll let you in on a secret.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Even Liv doesn’t know this. I keep the good cookies stashed at the back of the cabinet above the refrigerator. It’s difficult to get to so we don’t keep stuff there. Now, when you’re ready to break out the cookies, you can’t let her see, otherwise I will go broke buying them Ed.” He laughs, and you smile, “When you go back to bed, take her some of the cookies.” 

With that you start heading to your room, but he stops you, “Wait. How’d your date go?” 

You grin, “A woman doesn’t kiss and tell Ed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: How did this thing end up being so long????   
> Link to pinterst board: https://pin.it/5sF6iTx  
> This is possibly my favorite chapter so far.


	5. Chapter 5

“We need to go shopping.” 

Your sister scoffs, “I’m a public servant. I don’t have the kind of money needed to go on a shopping spree with you.” 

You lean against the bar, and roll your eyes, “You need some color in your wardrobe. A dress other than black.” 

Liv turns to her boyfriend of two weeks, “A little help here.” 

Ed scoffs, “I know better than to get in-between you two. I’ve lived this long, I’d like to see my own retirement party.” 

You wave him off, “Seriously, you’d look really good in green. Maybe blue too?” 

She turns back to Ed, and he shrugs, “I think you look great in any color.”

“Smoothe Ed.” You order a drink and drop the subject for now. You move throughout the bar, and take note of all the people in attendance. Then you spot him. He’s in the corner, nursing a drink and on his phone. You step to the side and pull your own out. 

You type out your text, ‘You busy?’ 

You watch his lips twitch up, when your text goes through, ‘Cariño You know I am. Where are you pillina?’ 

‘Look up.’

A second later Rafael’s eyes meet yours, and he gives you an exasperated look. He motions with his head, for you to come over. You slip through the crowd and slide into the chair next to him. He takes another sip of his drink. “So far I have been approached by several cops about personal law matters, a few judges, and a waitress who gave me her number.” 

You raise an eyebrow at that, “You better not have taken it.” 

He grins, “Estás guapa cuando te pones celosa.” 

You ‘accidentally’ kick him under the table. You mentally give him credit when he doesn’t even wince. “I was with Liv, trying to convince her to add some color to her wardrobe.” 

“How’d that go?” 

“It’s a work in progress. It takes time to wear her down. And the older she gets the more stubborn she becomes.” 

“Must be a family trait.” 

You bite your lip to keep from laughing. In the past two weeks you and Rafael have met up several times, talked on the phone, and texted nearly non-stop. “What exactly are you drinking?” 

“Mediocre scotch.” He offers you the glass, and you take a sip. You immediately wince and make a face. “I told you it was mediocre. The good stuff is much more pleasant.” 

You cough once, “There is no version of that drink that is pleasant. You should be prosecuting that drink.” 

“Dale una oportunidad amor. Let me guess, you’re drinking moscato?” 

“I like the sweet stuff, so sue me.” 

He says nothing else, but a moment later you can feel his hand on your thigh. You try to keep a dopey grin off your face when his thumb rubs back and forth against the skin. “We are in a bar full of cops, and I am not a good enough actress to keep them from guessing why I have a stupid smile on my face.” 

“You’re doing just fine.” 

You’re stopped from saying anything else when Munch walks in. You try really hard not to laugh, when he walks in with the white tuxedo jacket and the cane. “I really, really wish I could say that I’m surprised.” 

“So, this is a regular thing?” 

“Years and years of conspiracy theories have prepared me for this moment, I just didn’t know it. I’m very happy right now.” You snap a picture with your phone.

He laughs, “You’re sadistic.” 

You sit through the speeches, including your sister’s. While she’s speaking Rafael leans over and asks, “Did she really think that?” 

You shrug, “It wouldn’t surprise me. The first time I went in, I refused to speak to any of them. Took me two days to finally say hi to Munch.” 

When it’s John’s turn to speak, you brace yourself. He throws out jokes one after another and then he gets to you, “And then there’s Y/N Benson. If her sister is the diamond of SVU, she is the eye of the storm.” He looks at you, and then points, “This little girl is the closest thing to a kid I’ve got. She would flit around the SVU squad room, and teach me how to use a computer. I’m fairly certain she did most of my paperwork in the early 2000’s.” The crowd laughs and so do you, “I love you sweet girl.” 

You lift your glass in a salute, and then watch as your sister, Amaro, and Ed move out of the room. The rest of the party moves on. You stay close to Rafael for the most part. You flit away occasionally to talk to Finn, or Cragen. You ignore Cassidy like it’s your job.

After about an hour Rafael asks, “You want to get out of here?” 

You look over at John, who’s with his old Boston buddies, and singing. You nod, “They won’t notice if I’m gone. I doubt they’ll know anything until their heads are in the toilet tomorrow morning. Because, whatever is making them sing is bound to hurt. You go out first, and I’ll meet you out there in about ten minutes.” 

“See you then cariño.” 

You wait ten minutes before you start saying your goodbyes. You make the rounds and end with the man of honor. John smiles at you, “Ahh, the littlest Benson.” He pulls you in for a hug, “I’m glad you came today.” 

“Me too John, and thanks for what you said.” 

He leads you off to the side, away from the drinking, “I meant it, ya know. Watching you roam around the squad room, get ready for school stuff, almost made me want kids, and it always reminded me of what I was working towards. Making the city safe for kids like you.” 

“You did a good job. I grew up safe.” 

“Yeah you did. Make sure to keep your sister grounded for me. And call if you need anything.” 

You go up onto your toes and kiss his cheek, “Text me John. We’ll get lunch and you can regale me with stories of your retirement.” 

He just laughs. You watch him go back to the group of singing cops, and then make your way out the door. 

You find Rafael waiting for you, and as you approach he holds out his hand for you to take. It’s warm and reassuring. 

“So, with any luck, we have the rest of the day to ourselves.” 

“Please. I know how this works. We’ll get half way through something and my sister will call you to get some warrant.” 

“Excuse you, but I’m off the clock.” 

You look at him, “When has that ever stopped my sister, or you for that matter?” 

He kisses your hand, “True, but I didn’t have you around.” 

“Sweet talker.”

"Sólo un poco. Did I mention, you look amazing tonight?” 

“No. I just figured it went unsaid.” 

“Who’s cocky now?” 

The two of you spend the rest of the day together, until Rafael does in fact get called into the office. You’re able to distract him for more than a few minutes with a little bit of kissing. When he does go, he promises to call you, but he never does. 

That surprises you, but you don’t jump to worry. You know what his job entails. You know how easy it is to get caught up in that world. So instead, you focus on your own work. You bury yourself in the foundation of the law firm's new website. And it’s only several nights later, when Ed is over for dinner, that you figure out exactly why Rafael hasn’t called. 

You’re picking at the pizza in front of you when Liv starts talking about Alex Munoz, and Eddie Garcia; Rafael’s childhood friends. She details to Ed how far they’ve fallen, and the tight space they’ve maneuvered Rafael into. You don’t eat anymore after that. You wait until Ed and Liv start some cop movie to step out. 

They’re so engrossed with each other, that they don’t even notice you slip out the front door. You check Forlini’s first; Liv has talked about Rafael going there. When you find it empty you decide to check the Italian Restaurant. You find him sitting at the same table, completely lost in his own thoughts. 

You take the seat across from him, and wait for him to acknowledge you. He smiles, when he does, “What are you doing here?” 

You consider teasing him, but decide against it, “Liv has a big mouth. I checked Forlini’s first, this seemed like a logical second option.” 

“Maybe you should have been the detective in the family.” 

“I only investigate things that are important to me. I'm selfish like that. Is that mediocre scotch or higher quality.” 

He gives you a look, “It’s my scotch.” Things go silent for a minute before he says, “They called us the Three Musketeers of Jerome Avenue. Eddie had the muscle, Alex had the heart, and I had the mouth. We grew up together. They’re my best friends. And now . . .” He takes a sip of his drink, “Eddie won’t even look at me. I managed to get him a deal, but I doubt that will matter in the long run. 

“And Alex, Alex thinks this is personal. He thinks it’s about Yelina and not the fifteen year old he was sexting. I’d been in love with her for years. I thought I was going to marry her. We dated for the last two years of high school, and then the first semester of college. I went to surprise her with a visit, and found her in bed with Alex. It nearly killed me.

“The funny thing is, when those two got together, everyone in the neighborhood talked about how they were perfect together, and how it was about time. They all made comments about how long distance relationships never worked. Even my mother. The funny thing was, I thought I was doing it for her and me. She always wanted the big house and fancy things. I was willing to go into private practice for her. 

“My grandmother was the only one to curse her existence. I still remember her telling me that I was too good for her . . .that I deserved someone who loved me.” He pauses before he looks you in the eye, “Is it too early in the relationship to talk about exes? Is this a relationship? I don’t think we’ve defined it yet.” 

You consider things for a moment, “Well baby, you’re a little drunk, so that’s understandable. But yes Rafa, we’re in a relationship. As for the exes thing, that’s going to depend.” 

“On what?” 

“Are you allowed to defend me in court, after I scratch this woman’s eyes out?” 

He actually smiles, “She’s not worth it. In fact I owe her.” 

“How do you figure?” 

He reaches across the table and takes your hand, “I have you now. And you’re so much better.” 

“You sure do know how to sweet talk a girl Mr. Barba. Let’s get you home.” 

You get his address from his license and Rafael continues to talk on the way to his place. He tells you how Alex called him a sellout, and when he starts to wonder if he is, you reassure him that he is NOT. 

His apartment is actually lived in. There are a few dishes drying on the counter, there are law books scattered throughout, and there are some pictures too. It’s surprisingly easy to get him into bed. You tuck him in and kiss his forehead, and then you camp out on his couch. You smile at the fuzzy blanket he keeps on it, and you’re pleasantly surprised to find the couch very comfortable. 

You wake up to your phone ringing, on the other side is your sister, “Where the hell are you? Are you okay?” 

You groan, “It’s too early to yell Liv. I met up with some old classmates, and I ended up crashing at their place.” 

Liv doesn’t miss a beat, “You really need to work on your lies. You hated everyone in your highschool. Are you at a guy’s house? Are you in a relationship?” You hang up on her. 

“She is entirely too cheerful for morning time.” 

You look up to find Rafel smiling down at you. He’s dressed in an old Harvard sweatshirt, and pajama bottoms. He has two cups of coffee, and he hands one to you, “I added a ton of sugar and creamer to it, so it should be just to your liking.” He kisses your forehead, before setting in beside you. 

“I’m sorry about last night.” 

You lean against his shoulder, and his head rests on top of yours. “Don’t be. This is why a relationship had two people, so they can take turns supporting each other, so you don’t have to do everything alone.” 

“I might need a little extra support over this next week. They’ll be arraigning Alex and I’ve already started fielding calls from the old neighborhood. I’ve been told to not let a zipper problem get in the way of a great man becoming mayor.” 

You snuggle in close to his side, “He’s not a great man. He’s a manipulator, a liar, and a pedophile.” 

“Doesn’t change the fact that I won’t be able to go home for a long time. Alex has that place wrapped around his little finger. He practically saved the old neighborhood single handedly.” 

“I’m sure that’s not true.” 

“One of the callers was my mother.” You bite your lip, “She always told me to stay close to Alex, that he would be mayor of New York City one day. She never said that about me.” 

There’s nothing you can say to that, you just place a kiss on his cheek, and dig your fingers into his sweatshirt so he knows you’re not going anywhere. His fingers start combing through your hair, and he places a kiss on the top of your head. Quietly he asks, “Will you stay?” 

Your answer is simple and meaningful, “Always.” 

He gives you his first smile of the day, “Siempre, me gusta como suena.”


	6. Chapter 6

“This is amazing. I want you to know, if we weren’t already dating, I would be asking you out right now.” 

There’s a very satisfied grin on Rafael’s face at the praise. He’s yet to touch his food, but you’re already several bites into the ropa vieja. When you notice this, you stare back, “What?” 

“You’re just so excited, and it wasn’t that hard. I’ve been making this with my abuelita for as long as I can remember.” 

“Yes, but you have to remember, I was raised by Liv. My skills in the kitchen include spaghetti from a box, and ordering take out.” He rolls his eyes at that but finally starts eating. 

“How was your day?” 

You take a sip of your water, “It was good. I finally have the base of the website done. Now I get to start adding in details. What about you?” 

“It was fine for the most part. I had a witness who didn’t appear for a grand jury so I got to stay there for two hours while playing sudoku.” 

“Ahh, the fabulous life of a Manhattan DA.” 

“Cuidado preciosa.” You just take another bite of your food.

When you’re done, the two of you tackle the dishes together, and you can’t help but admire him. He has the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows, and you find that terribly attractive on him. He’s loading the dishwasher when you slip up behind him, and wrap your arms around his middle.

You lavish little kisses and nips along his throat, until he finally turns and pulls you into a real kiss. The kiss leaves you breathless, and he never fully pulls back. Instead he places a few small kisses on the corner of your mouth, and then he moves to your throat; he places opened mouthed kisses there, and occasionally nips or suckles the skin. 

When you bring him back up to your mouth, you’re both breathing heavily. Your arms wind around his neck while his settle around your waist. You tangle your fingers in his hair, “The dishes can wait until morning, right?” 

“Are you sure Cariño?” 

The two of you had taken things slow these past two months. You’d known going in that this relationship was a big thing. Rafael not only worked with your sister, but he was friends with her. The two of you had wanted to make sure this was going somewhere, before going all the way. 

“Positive.” 

He smiles, and then you squeal and laugh when he picks you up enough that you can wrap your legs around his waist, and as the doors to the bedroom closes behind you, you can’t think about anything else but him. You love that feeling, it’s not something you’ve experienced a lot in your life. 

The next morning, you wake up with Rafael wrapped around you. You turn in his arms and watch him sleep for a few minutes. He looks peaceful like this. Eventually, you wiggle out of his arms, and pick his shirt up off the floor. You throw it on and make your way into the apartment to grab your bag. 

You quickly brush your teeth, and pull on a pair of sleep shorts to go with Rafel’s shirt. When you go back to the bedroom, he’s awake. He’s sitting in bed, with the sheet pooled around his waist, and his chest bare. And in his hand is his phone. 

He smiles at the sight of you, “Now that’s a sight I can get used to.” 

You grin, “Oh yeah?” 

“Te sienta mejor a tí que a mí.” 

You climb back into bed, and nod at his phone, “Is it work? Do you have to go?” 

He shakes his head and finishes typing something out before putting his phone back on the nightstand. He then pulls you flush against him and kisses the top of your head. “It was Rollins. They need a warrant.” 

“So you have to go in?” 

He scoffs, “Do you think I’m an idiot? I know better than to leave my beautiful girlfriend for a warrant any DA worth their salt could get. I told her to call Callier. Tú estás atrapada aquí conmigo.” 

The two of you stay in bed talking for about an hour before you finally get up and get moving. You deal with the dishes from last night while Rafael orders in breakfast. The two of you spend the day lounging around his apartment. You watch movies, and genuinely just enjoy being around each other. When night time comes, you don’t want to leave, but tomorrow is Monday, and you actually have to go into the office, and you know Rafael actually has to prepare for tomorrow. 

“Don’t go.” He kisses you. 

“I don’t want to, but I have work tomorrow, and so do you.” 

“Quédate.”

You pull away and point at him, “You’re not being fair. You’re being sneaky and trying to get me to stay.” 

He grins, and it’s full of mischief, “I’m a lawyer, it’s in the job description.” 

You laugh, and kiss him one more time, “Good luck tomorrow.” 

“I’ll call you tomorrow to set up dinner later this week.” 

“Sounds good.” 

You feel incredibly relaxed when you walk into the apartment, that quickly goes out the door when you realize most of the squad is in your apartment. Finn and Cragen smile at the sight of you, and envelop you in hugs.

“And where have you been?” 

You smile, “I have been out living my life.” 

Amaro grins, “That’s a non-answer if I’ve ever heard one.” 

You pin him with a look, “Well it’s the best one you’re going to get.” 

He actually laughs, and you head further into the apartment, “So, what’s going on?” 

Finn shrugs, “Just a rough day. Your sister offered to order pizza.” 

“Ahh free food.” 

You leave them to their conversation and go to change. You get lucky, and spot the love bites on your neck, and choose a hoodie instead of a tank-top. You make your way back into the kitchen. The entire squad is in the living room, and you find Ed in the kitchen. Wordlessly he hands you a bottle of water, and fixes you a plate with pizza. 

“When did you get here?” 

He scoffs, “Your sister begged me to pick up the pizza.” 

You grin, “You two are soo cute.” 

He rolls his eyes, “Eat your pizza before I find you a salad or something.” 

You take a bite, and listen to the squad talk about the case. You get a kick out of Ed’s commentary, but you nearly choke when Rollins brings up Barba, “I can’t believe he wouldn’t come in. The rest of us were there.” You can feel Ed’s eyes on you. 

Amaro continues, “Seriously, the man is always riding our asses, and today he doesn’t show up.” 

Liv is quick to shut it down, “Barra works more hours than any other DA. He’s allowed to take a day off.” 

Finn makes a face, “The real question is, what was he doing?” 

Rollins laughs, “It could be a who.” 

Amaro shakes his head, “Unless it’s in a courtroom or has to do with a case, Barba doesn’t notice it.” 

Thankfully, the conversation is then steered away from your boyfriend. Ed, however, is still focused on you. He doesn’t say anything, but you know he’s figured it out. You’re saved from answering any questions when Amaro starts talking about Liv taking the sergeants exam. 

You make sure you’re in bed and asleep before anyone even leaves. The next morning you wake up early. You dress for work, a black sweater and nice leopard print, skirt and pair it with some black pumps. You do your best not to make any noise. You start the coffee maker and wait. 

You’re just about to pour a cup when you feel him behind you. You pour two cups and hand one to Ed. You look at him over the rim, he’s already dressed for work, “Did you move in or something.” 

“Please we both know that you don’t mind. I keep your sister from noticing that you’re sneaking off with her DA.” 

“You going to tell her?” 

“Not my business kid. I’m older than your sister, not quite the age gap between you and Barba, but still.” 

“Thanks Ed.” 

He shrugs, “You shared the secret cookie location with me. That bugs your sister by the way.” You smile. “He’s treating you okay though?” 

“Perfect gentleman.” 

His eyes narrow, and he reaches over to tug the collar of your sweater up, “Perfect gentlemen don’t leave hickies.” 

You both burst out laughing, “I’m headed into work. You and Liv going to be here for dinner?” 

He shakes his head, “We’re going to my place. I’m going to help her study for her exam.”

“Then I’ll see you later.” 

“Be safe.” 

You head into Rita’s law firm. You have a presentation in a little under an hour showing her where the website is in production. You get there with twenty minutes to spare, but she’s waiting for you. 

“Good. You’re early. That gives us time to talk about Barba.” 

Your brow furrows, and you pick up your pace to keep up with her. “What.” 

“I told him to ask you out. Please tell me he actually did it.” 

You huff, “Funny, I told him the same thing after he told me about the belt in court.” 

Rita smiles at you, “Great minds.” 

“I also warned him to never do that again.” 

She laughs, “Rafael will do anything for a win. He’s always been that way. Driven. Focused.” 

“You sound half in love with my boyfriend.” 

She does laugh at that, “Not a chance. Rafael is too stubborn for my tastes. That would have ended in a murder suicide . . .but I miss him as a friend.” 

“What happened with you two?” 

She shrugs, “I got married, had my two kids, spent less time at the office, and realized that I could do my work and still be home at five if I went the private route. I think Rafael feels I abandoned him. I can’t blame him for feeling that way given his history. Has he told you anything?” 

“A little. It’s only been two months.” 

“Anyways. Enough about your boyfriend. Show me what you’ve got.” 

You spend the rest of the morning with Rita, and the two of you even get lunch together. You like the woman a lot, and she seems to like you too. You order an extra meal before you leave. You split up near the courthouses, and Rita gives you a knowing look when you start walking in that direction.

It’s the first time you’ve visited him during the work day. It’s a little daring, but oh well. You stop at his assistant’s desk, she’s very sweet and asks you to wait. Ten minutes later a woman in a Coast Guard uniform steps out. Rafael’s eyes find you almost immediately. 

“Thank you again for stopping by Officer Albers.” 

“Mr. Barba.” 

She turns to leave but watches as Rafael walks over to you, she’s gone a second later. “Hey. This is a nice surprise. You look nice, very salvaje.” 

You stand up and hold out the bag you brought, “I figured you’d only had coffee today, and so I thought I’d bring this by.” 

“Can you stay?” 

“I’ve got some time.” 

He turns to his assistant, “I’m officially on lunch. If anyone comes looking for me, tell them I’ve fled the country.” 

She smiles, “Of course Mr. Barba.” 

You settle in on his couch, and when he tosses the side salad away from him in favor of the pasta you give him a look. He rolls his eyes and picks it up again. You slide out of your heels and curl your legs under you on the couch. “How’s your day been?” 

“Busy. I’m navigating New York Law, and military law. It has not been a fun day.” 

You nod, Liv had mentioned something about the case. “The girl's father is an admiral. I think that’s gotten us the tiniest bit of leeway, and I’ll take it.” 

“Maybe you should watch NCIS. That could give you some insight.” 

He rolls his eyes, “Maybe some other time. What’s your day been like?” 

“Well . . . I met with Rita.” 

“How is lucifer’s spawn.” 

“She misses you.” 

He pauses at that, “Dulzura, we haven’t been close in years.” 

“Maybe you should change that? Invite her and her husband over for dinner. I’ll cook.” 

“You’re going to cook?” 

“Okay, I’ll order take out.” 

He leans back against the couch. “Why does this matter to you?” 

You scoot closer to him, and throw one of your legs across his, so that he’s trapped, “I want you to be happy, and I think Rita really misses her friend.” 

He snaps at you, “Because my other friendships have worked out so well lately?” 

You raise an eyebrow, and he sighs, “I’m sorry.” 

“You’re forgiven.” 

There’s a moment of silence, before he says, “I’ll cook. Invite Rita and her husband over for dinner, and I’ll break out my abuelita’s recipes.” 

“Really?” 

“Sólo por ti. Now kiss me please.” 

You lean over and peck him on the lips, “Better.” 

“I’ve got you and food. I can’t think of anything better.” You start to comb your fingers through his hair and he groans, “Except that. Serás mi muerte, pero que gran forma de caer.”

You stay for about thirty more minutes before you make you get ready to leave. That’s when you hear his assistant, Carmen, say rather loudly, “Let me check to see if he’s done with lunch Detective Benson.” 

Your head whips towards Rafael. This is not the way your sister should find out about you two. He moves quickly, and leads you towards a cabinet. You step in amongst coats and other things, and your shoes and purse follow a second later. 

You listen as your sister comes in demanding warrants and other things and you frown. Where were the pleasantries? You start to get a little angry when she starts arguing with him about the laws. She’s gone a few minutes later. 

You step out once he closes the door, “Does she always argue with you like that.” 

He shrugs, “She wants action and justice and . . .” 

“And there are laws, and procedures that you have to follow too. If you rush too fast everything could get thrown out, right?” 

He smiles at you, “She’s passionate amor, just like you are. I’m fairly certain it’s a Benson family trait.”


	7. Chapter 7

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” 

You pop a carrot into your mouth, and Rafa shoots you a glare. He’d been complaining about the dinner with Rita for over a week now. You swallow, “You’re hot when you cook. Did you know that?” 

You watch as his tongue pokes out the side of his cheek, “No intentes distraerme, estoy cocinando para el diablo, y la culpa es tuya.” 

“I have no clue what you just said, but it’s almost as hot as you cooking.” 

“I’m not only cooking, I’m cooking one of my Abuleita’s best recipes. Her Pernil Asado Con Mojo is famous in the Bronx.” 

“A perfect peace offering, and a wonderful start to renewing an old friendship.” 

Rafa rolls his eyes, and nudges you off the counter. He really is hot like this; he’s still dressed in slacks and a button down, but there’s no vest, no tie, and the top three buttons of his shirt are unbuttoned. He turns to look at you, “It must be nice, to be so young and naive.” 

“You want to find a front porch to sit on and some kids to yell at?” He swats at you, and you swoop in for a kiss. “Don’t be grumpy.” 

“I’ve only had three cups of coffee today. Grumpy is my default.” 

You wrap your arms around his neck, “What can I do to help the situation?”

“Cancel dinner?” 

“Something else.” 

He smiles, “Just kiss me again.” 

You do just that, and a moment later there’s a knock on the door, “Espero que al menos haya traído un buen vino.” 

You ignore him in favor of the door. You open the door to find Rita and her husband on the other side. She grins, “On a scale of one to ten, how grumpy is he?” 

“About a six.” 

She laughs, “That’s not bad. I can deal with level six in my sleep.” She holds up a bottle of wine, “Plus, I brought booze.” and with that she makes her way in yelling out for Rafa, and you watch her go with a smile. You turn to face her husband. He’s an older gentleman, older than Rita and Rafael. He smiles and offers his hand, “Brian Calhoun, it’s so nice of you to do this.” 

You shake his hand and usher him inside, “It’s my pleasure, really.” 

“My Rita tends to be a workaholic, especially with the kids almost grown. She needs a friend, and she and Rafael used to be so close. He was at our wedding, ya know?” 

“Really?” 

“Yep, stood in for Rita’s maid of honor when she cancelled at the last minute. I was sad to see them drift apart.” There’s bickering from the kitchen, and the man smiles kindly, “They always do that. It’s a good sign.” 

“As long as they don’t ruin dinner. The only time I get home cooked meals is when Rafa cooks.” 

Brian laughs, “Rita is hopeless in the kitchen. She can burn water.” 

“Well, she and I have that in common then.” 

You enter to find them arguing in the kitchen, “All I want is the recipe Barba.” 

“Not going to happen. My Abuelita swore me to secrecy.” 

“Who’s going to tell her?” 

You listen to the bickering with a smile, as you grab the bottle of wine and pour two glasses. You hand one to Brian and the two of you just watch. It’s like a game of tennis, they go back and forth. Occasionally, there’s a compliment, but overall it’s a mash of insults and lawyer speak. 

You call a truce when it’s time to eat. You expect more bickering, but instead Rafa asks Brian about his work, he’s apparently a college professor at Hudson, and then he asks about their kids. They have two boys; Peter and Joey. 

“Peter’s fifteen, Joey’s thirteen.” 

Rafa takes a sip of wine, “That’s hard to believe.” 

Rita grins, “You remember when I brought Peter into the office, after he was born?” 

Rafa groans, “I remember. I’d taken on all of your cases while you were on maternity leave.” 

“And I’d just grown and pushed a human being out of my body. Trust me, I’d take arraignments all day over labor.” She turns to look at you, “If you ever have kids, ask for an epidural as soon as you get to the hospital. Do NOT wait.” 

You can feel Rafa’s eyes on you, “Got it, but what happened when you brought Peter by the office.” 

“Barba had one of my cases open on his desk. I’d prepped the hell out of the thing, but it was still a little tricky, and I knew he hadn’t had enough time to get ready for it.” 

“Not true.” 

“Shush. So, before he could comprehend what’s going on, I plopped Peter down in his arms, made sure he had the right hold. . . “ 

“Which I did. I have quite a few cousins, and I’ve babysat many times. . .” 

“I stole the file off the desk and went into court. The Judge was very confused, everyone knew I was on maternity leave, my water had broken in the middle of closing statements. I came back two hours later, and he has the baby resting on his shoulder like a champ, while arguing with a defense attorney about how he’s not going to plea out a slam dunk of a case. His words, not mine.” 

“And now Peter’s in one of the best gifted programs in the city. You’re welcome.” 

Brian has to step out to take a call after dinner, and it’s while you’re clearing the table that you hear Rita say, “I’ve missed this.” 

“I haven’t gone anywhere Rita.” 

“You were mad when I left Rafi.” 

“Yeah . . .I was.” 

“I tried to take you with me.” 

He laughs, “The private sector isn’t for me Rita.” 

“Well, if you ever change your mind, there’s always an open spot at my firm. I’d really enjoy seeing Bucanan’s face when he realizes that you chose my firm over his.” 

“What are you talking about Rita?” 

“You don’t know?” 

“Know what?” 

“The firms have been talking about trying to steal you away for years Barba. You’re a thorn in their side. You’re a damn good lawyer, and if you went the private sector route, you’d bring in a lot of money. You know that.” 

“I’m good where I am Rita.” 

There’s another moment of silence before she asks, “Does that mean you’re not willing to do this again?” 

“Cook or dinner in general?” 

“Be friends?” The question is said with so much honesty it almost makes you cry, “The boys still ask about you, ya know? They ask how uncle Rafi is doing. I tell them you’re a pain in my ass, but you’re good.” 

He sighs, “We’d have to leave work at work.” 

“Please, we already do that.” 

“I’ll never understand why you went to the private sector, but I’m willing to give it a shot.” 

“I think, Rafael, that one day . . .you will understand.” 

You come out of the kitchen with plates of pie, and do your best to show that you hadn’t just listened to their very intimate conversation, “So, it’s from a box, but I've got pie.” 

They both stare at you before Rita turns to your boyfriend, “She has no poker face.” 

“I know.” 

“Her sister has a poker face.” 

“Liv has also been a detective for quite a few years.” 

Rita turns to you, “Never commit a crime. Your emotions and thoughts are just written right on your face.” 

You blink a few times, before turning to Rafa, “What?” 

He pulls you into his lap, “Ignore her, Rita is just being Rita.” He kisses your cheek, and the two of them share a conspirtal grin. What evil hath you wrought on the world? 

At around eleven Rita and Brian head out, and the two of you collapse in bed. “I’m exhausted.” 

You nod into your pillow, “People are exhausting.” 

“But I had a good time. I’ve missed that friendship. I was stupid to let it go in the first place.” 

You shrug, “You two were just in different places in your lives. I don’t think any true harm was done.” 

“Maybe.” He rolls over so he's on his side and watching you, “Thank you for forcing me to do this.” 

“No problem, that’s what I’m here for.” 

“Do we have a dinner party with your long lost friends next?” 

You shake your head, “I never really had many; friends that is. The few I had in high school or even college have moved on; you know marriage and kids. And I work from home, so no work friends either.” 

“What about childhood friends?” 

You shake your head, “The parents wouldn’t let their kids come over. My mom had a reputation. She was a drunk, and the house was far from spotless. And when Liv took custody, Cragan allowed me to hang around the squad room, because Liv couldn’t afford after school care. And they all worked SVU, they weren’t going to let me stay home alone. 

“If it was a late night, Elliot’s wife would come and get me sometimes. I actually spent a lot of time with his family.” 

“Elliot was Liv’s partner?” 

“For around thirteen years. Closest thing I had to a father figure. He left about a year or two before you got there. The emotional toll finally got to him.” 

“Good cop?” 

You consider your words carefully, “He and Liv have one of the highest records for completed cases. To watch them work, was a weird thing. It was this seamless transition. They’d fight sometimes but . . . they always worked it out, right up until he left. She came down to see me after he left, it tore her apart, that he didn’t say goodbye.” 

You watch Rafa’s lips purse, “I don’t think I like him.” 

You smile, “Oh Lord, I hope the two of you never meet. You’d go for each other’s throats.” 

He nods, “Good thing I’ll never have to meet him then.” 

“That is a good thing. It’s also a good thing that you never had to go to the old precinct. You would have thrown a fit.” 

Rafael decided he doesn’t want to know.


	8. Part 8

You don’t expect it. One minute you’re brushing your teeth, and then you have a gun in your face. You hold your hands up in surrender, and then you see the look of horror in Liv's eyes when she realizes what she’s just done. “I’m sorry. I’m so . . . so.” 

You nod, and slowly reach forward to take her gun. She gives it up, and you’re grateful for those gun safety classes Liv had made you take all those years ago. You put the safety back on, and slide in on to the counter. She collapses in your arms, and that’s how Ed finds the two of you.

She doesn’t want to be alone for the rest of the night. She switches between clinging to you, or crying on Ed’s shoulder. You’ve never seen her like this and it scares you. You tell that to Rafa the next night. You’re staying at his apartment again, “She went undercover for the FBI, infiltrated a supposed terrorist organization, she’s gone undercover at prisons, and I’ve never . . .I never asked for details about what happened with Lewis. I just did what she wanted. I think, deep down, I don’t want to know.” 

The empathy on Rafael’s face is enough to bring you to tears. He’s quick to pull you into his arms. He cups your face and kisses the tears away. “Oh bonita, Mi amor. . It’s going to be okay.”

You look up at him, “I’m not going to demand that you win Rafa. This son of a bitch is a slippery bastard. Just do your best.” 

“I will.” 

You take off of work for the trial. You’re not a witness, so you find a place in the back of the courtroom, and you watch. Ed sits next to you the entire time. The details, details you never wanted to know, set your teeth on edge. And the man, William Lewis, you’ve never hated anyone like you hate that man. You cry to Rafa at night, before you go home to your sister, and sit with her in silence. He holds you while you sob on his shirt. When you apologize he tells you this is what a relationship is; supporting each other through the good times and the bad. 

When Liv is questioned by Lewis you nearly rush the bastard. It’s only Finn’s arm around your shoulder that keeps you from doing so. You actually make it slightly off the seat, before you’re pulled back down. Lewis doesn’t miss it. You’re subpoenaed the next day. 

“He can’t do this. Rafael, tell me he can’t do this!”

Rafael is staring at you, and you wonder if he even hears the question. He’s burning with just as much rage as your sister is. It’s Ed, God bless that man, who brings everyone back. “It doesn’t make any sense. She offers nothing to his case, if anything she offers something to ours. She’s a good character witness.” 

He’s pacing now, and that’s when you get it, “He’s doing it to hurt her. I’m someone Liv has always protected.” You look at your sister, “He’s trying to make you feel like you failed.” 

There are tears in her eyes, “Haven’t I? You shouldn’t be involved in this.” 

You’re scared shitless, but you choke that back, “You’ve protected me your entire life Liv. Now it’s my turn.” 

Rafa preps you for hours. You start to hate the courtroom. When it’s time to testify, you swear your oath, and then you turn your attention to Lewis. You can tell he’s surprised, he tries to stare you down, but he doesn’t know. None of these people know. 

“Ms. Benson, can you tell the jury of your relationship with Detective Benson?” 

You don’t answer right away, you continue to stare, and then he blinks and you smile. You turn back to Rafa, “She’s my older sister.” 

“Do you have a normal sibling relationship?” 

“No. Liv raised me. She was a surrogate mother for me, came to every school function, put her own life on hold, bought my school clothes, and threw my birthday parties. In a lot of ways she was like my mother.” 

“What about Mr. Lewis? How do you know him?” 

You say it softly, “As the devil.” 

“Objection!” 

“Ms. Benson, please keep your answers appropriate.” 

“I’m sorry, your honor. I only meant to say it to myself, I didn’t realize it was loud enough for anyone to hear, let alone a man with no hearing in his left ear.” 

You don’t look at the jury, they need to make the connections on their own. You can see that Rafa is puzzling through what you’re doing. When he realizes he shakes his head. His message is clear, don’t antagonize the bastard. He might come for you. Let him. You’d spent your life in squadrooms and courtrooms. You’d seen how Alex and Casey had gotten under people's skin. You knew how to do this. 

Rafa asks you a few more questions, before Lewis gets his turn. He approaches fast, his limp suddenly not so bad. He hates being dismissed. “Ms. Benson. Why did your sister raise you? Were you perhaps her own daughter?” 

You furrow your brow, “No.” 

“Can you elaborate?” 

“I don’t know how to elaborate on the fact that she’s not my mother.” 

“How about why she raised you?” 

“Why is that relevant?” 

He smacks a hand on the ledge of the witness stand, and you jump a bit. Rafa is red in the face, and the jury looks a little startled now.

“Answer the question!” 

“Mr. Lewis!” 

“She was a drunk.” The statement draws the courtroom to silence, and you can see even Rafael is surprised. The only people who know anymore are Cragan and Finn. You find your sister in the crowd. She’s sitting next to Ed. She gives you a nod, she’s okay with what you’re about to do.

You swallow the lump in your throat, “My mother was a drunk. She gave birth to my sister when she was still fairly young; a sophomore in college. I was a result of a one night stand that did not want to be a father. To her credit, she did stop drinking while she was pregnant with me. I’ve been told she started again the day I came home from the hospital. 

“It was my sister, my sixteen year old sister, who made sure I was fed, clothed, and changed. It was my sister, who hid in a closet with me, when my crying incited her rage. It was my sister who wanted to take me with her when she turned eighteen. The courts told her no, and my mother threw her out of the house. 

“She still came by daily to make sure I was okay. It was usually when our mother was passed out. And even then she made sure our mother didn’t choke on her own vomit.” 

“That’s enough, I have no more. . .” 

You interrupt him, “No it’s not. You’ve accused her of having nothing but the job, and now that you’re getting an answer you don’t like, now that you see that I’m not afraid of you, you want me off the stand. No, because I’m not done.

“My sister was still a beat cop when she took me in. I was eight years old. All of her money went to providing for me. We didn’t have a lot but it was enough. Eventually, our mother cut back on the booze, and my sister forgave her, despite the beatings, and the tantrums she had thrown. I never did. 

“I’ve watched her over the years. I grew up in the SVU squad room. I’ve seen my sister save lives. I’ve seen her work tirelessly to help women, men, and children. I’ve watched her forgive those who shouldn’t be forgiven. You claim my sister went on a drinking and drug binge, but I know that’s not true. She doesn’t drink the hard stuff. She has a glass of wine every once in a while. That’s it. She remembers the damage that stuff can do. So let’s be honest, you’ve done everything you can to break her, so has life, and she’s still standing.” 

He’s furious, you can feel it as his eyes follow you through the courtroom and to your sister’s side. That night you barely sleep. The next day is a shit show in your opinion. If you were the revenge seeking type you’d start with Lewis and end with that forewoman. In the end Lewis is charged with assaulting a police officer and kidnapping. 

Liv let’s Ed take her home, you stay with Rafa. He doesn’t say anything, but he does pull you to him. You bury your face in his neck and ask him, “Can we go home?” 

“Absolutely, mi amor.” 

When you get to Rafael’s the two of you take a shower. You cry under the spray while Rafa holds you. He then helps you dress in one of his shirts and a pair of your pajama pants that have found a permanent home in Rafa’s apartment.

The two of you climb into bed, and you listen to Rafa’s heartbreak. “He’s not going to get out, is he?” 

“I’m asking for the maximum. Twenty-five to life.” 

“Good. I want to forget William Lewis even exists.” 

He kisses your forehead, “We’ll do something fun tomorrow.” 

“Like Coney Island fun?” 

He laughs, “You want to go to Coney Island?” 

“Not really, but I want to do something fun.” 

His fingers comb through your hair, “What about a weekend away? Maybe a cabin?” 

You shake your head, “That seems like the making of a murder. Wouldn’t look good if a DA got murdered.” 

“What about a ski lodge.” 

“You ski?” He nods, “You going to teach me?” 

He presses a kiss to your temple, “Either that or we stay in bed all day.” 

“In bed all day?” 

“We could move in front of the fireplace at some point?” 

You laugh, “Men, you only think of one thing.” 

He places a kiss on your shoulder, “¿Puedes culparme?”

Then he pauses, “We could go to the catskills. The trees are changing colors, we can walk around in nature, eat good food, and have a hotel sex.” 

You laugh, “That sounds nice. Are you sure you can get off of work?” 

“I have so much vacation time, it’s ridiculous.” 

“Then it’s a date.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Are you sure you’re okay with me going?” 

Your sister waves you off, “Are you kidding, Lewis is going to jail, Ed is here, he’s actually cooking for me, and I’m shipping you off for the weekend? I’m great.” 

You laugh, “First off, I’m choosing to go away for the weekend.” 

“Same difference. Ed and I get the apartment to ourselves, we’re happy. Next point?” 

“I need you to come help me choose outfits.” 

“Outfits, plural?” 

“It’s the catskills. I need cute dresses, outfits that go with sensible shoes, and at least one nice dress.” 

Your sister rolls her eyes, but still follows you to your room. You hear Ed huff out a laugh, “What, you don’t want my opinion?” You pause and smirk, he points, “I was kidding. Go pick out outfits, I’m going to finish cooking breakfast.” 

Liv plops down on your bed, and examines the clothes you have all around. “I like the maroon dress. Pair it with some black tights and those cute ankle boots and you’re good.” 

“Good eye. Anything else?” 

“Black jeans, and white cozy sweater. You can pair it with boots or tennis shoes. And then I’d suggest a little black dress for your evening out.” 

You smile, “You always recommend a little black dress.” 

She laughs, “It’s a classic. Strapless black one with the polk-a-dots. You can take a shawl or half jack with you. And don’t forget the black pumps.” 

You lean over and kiss her forehead, “Thank you, you’re the best.” 

“Well I try.” There’s a moment of silence as you start packing the clothes into a suitcase. “So … do I ever get to meet this guy? I mean you’ve been dating for what, five months now? That’s how long Ed and I have been together and …” 

“And you’re fishing.” 

“You want a lawyer?” 

You stick your tongue out at her, “No.” 

“Well …?” 

“How about this, if he proposes, I’ll grab you in-between walking down the aisle and saying our vows to let you know who he is.” 

“Smart ass. You better tell me who he is before that.” 

“I promise.” 

You throw a few back up outfits and toiletries into the bag, before taking your suitcase to the door. You stop there, “Well, I hope you guys have a nice weekend.” 

Ed grins, as Liv wraps her arms around him, “You too.” 

Rafael is waiting for you at the side of the road. He’s dressed in jeans and a polo shirt. It’s the most casual you’ve ever seen him. The drive to the catskills is uneventful. To your surprise Rafa is quick to blast Marvin Gaye through the stereo. You’re even more surprised when Rafa automatically sings along, and you’re beyond blown away when you realize he has an amazing voice. “Where the hell did you learn to sing?” 

He laughs, “I neve learned, I’ve just always done it. I used to sing hymns with my abuelita on Sunday’s.” 

“Well you’re good, damn good. If the whole prosecutor thing doesn’t work out. You can try broadway.” 

“"Te crees muy graciosa? Sing with me.” 

You laugh, and do as he asks, despite not being the best. You make random stops at different roadside stands. You take your time getting there. It’s a drive filled with light moments, ones you know are going to be burned in your memory for the rest of your life. You check into a small cabin at around five pm. Rafa insists on bringing all the suitcases inside. You watch him from the couch. When he comes back down he plops down next to you, “I need to start working out.” 

“No you don’t, I like you just the way you are.” You snuggle up next to him, and he kisses the top of your head. 

“You’re too good to me. No te merezco.” 

You snort, “Pizza and movies tonight? And we can explore tomorrow?” 

“Sounds good to me.” The two of you curl up on the couch, start a fire, and eat pizza. That night you make love, and when morning comes you’re both quick to get started. You put on the maroon dress, black tights, and ankle boots Liv helped you pick out. Rafa stays casual in jeans, a button down, and sweater over top of that. 

The two of you drive into one of the small towns the catskills has to offer. You spend the day wandering in and out stores, enjoy a late brunch, and spend the day just enjoying yourselves. You love all the colorful leaves on the trees, and you take a number of selfies with Rafael. Despite his protests, he smiles genuinely in all of the pictures and asks you to send them to his phone. 

“If we want to make our dinner reservations, we need to head home to change.” 

When you don’t respond he turns to find you staring at his worst fear. You’re standing in front of a window that leads to an animal adoption center, “No.” 

“Rafa, please…” 

He laughs, “No. Not a chance. Vámonos.” 

“But he’s so cute!!!” 

His mouth opens and closes several times, “It’s a three legged dog.” 

“He needs a home.” 

“And it needs to be us? We don’t even live together.”

You shrug, “Shared custody.” 

He rubs his temples with his fingers, “And we can’t find a nice four legged dog … or maybe a fish.” 

You pout at him, “Rafa…can’t we just go in and pet him?” 

“Dinner reservations, remember?” 

“Please.” 

And in that moment Rafa realizes he’s in trouble, because he’s not going to be able to say no to you … ever. The two of you go in and pet the dog, and though he tries to deny it, you can see the hint of a smile on Rafa’s face. You don’t want to leave, but you know Rafa’s planned a special night.

You give one last look to the dog in the window before following Rafa to the car, “We’re not home enough for a dog.” 

“You’re not home enough for a dog.” 

He rolls his eyes, but you don’t bring it up again. It isn’t the first time you’ve wanted a dog and been denied. Liv had done it constantly through your childhood. “You’re not mad are you?” 

You roll your eyes, “Of course not. He was just a very cute dog.” 

You’ve just finished changing into your dress, and slipped on your shoes when your phone starts buzzing.

It’s an unknown number, but something in you tells you to pick up anyways, “Hello?” 

“Y/N, it’s Ed. I need you back in the city. Lewis escaped and he’s going on a rampage. Liv is … she’s a mess.” 

Fear floods your body, and Rafa is quick to notice. He goes to your side, and you mouth the name at him, ‘Lewis.’ He’s on his phone in a heartbeat. Who he’s talking to you don’t know, but you steal yourself. “I can be there in around three hours.”

“See you then.” 

You turn around to find Rafa already throwing clothes into the suitcases. He has you checked out in under twenty minutes, and the two of you speed towards the city. When you get to the precinct, you find your sister. Liv is a mess, she’s pleading with a man you don’t know about making a statement, her squad is trying to reassure her. Rafa is quick to confirm that any statement made contradicting her testimony would be bad.

You know there’s one thing that can get her to stop, “Code white.” 

She freezes, and turns to look at you. You swallow the lump in your throat, because her eyes are focused on you, wearing the same black dress she had helped you pick out yesterday. “You heard me.” 

For a second the worry in her eyes is replaced with softness, “I can’t believe you remember that.” 

“I was six. Mom had been gone for two days, the phone had been cut off and she came home drunk out of her mind. She was yelling and breaking things, and I made it out of the apartment. I went to the convenience store down the street and they let me call you. You were at college and had a test the next day, that you blew off to come save me. I didn’t want to go home. I was scared and refused to leave the store. 

“You sat with me for an hour and we came up with codes: Code red, I’m in trouble, code blue, I’m sad and I don’t know what to do, code purple, mom is acting up. Code white, you need to stay.” 

She nods, “We came up with code white later on. When you had just moved in with me, and you were scared about my job. Some kid had run his mouth at your school about killing cops. Code white meant you were scared for me, and I couldn’t leave until you were sure I was going to be okay.” 

“And I’m calling it now, because you’re not okay.” 

“He has a little girl.” 

“And that’s not on you. That’s on the psychopath who took her.” 

“Y/N…” 

“I’ll tell you who I’m dating.” 

“What?” 

“We’ll go to Forlini’s, and I’ll tell you everything. Ed can come too.” 

“I’m technically on the job right now, I’m here for IAB to make sure she doesn’t do something she’ll regret.” 

You stare at him, “Then come to Forlini’s, have a club soda, and if she tries to leave tackle her.” 

Ed rolls his eyes, and his voice thick with sarcasm says, “Wow, you should work for our crisis management team. Put on a vest.” 

You stare at the offered garment, and shake your head, “It doesn’t go with what I’m wearing. Navy blue and black clash.” 

“Lewis might come after you too. You mouthed off to him in court.” You cross your arms against your chest, “Put the damn vest on and I’ll come to Forlini’s after I make a report to IAB.” 

You take the damn vest and Amaro helps you strap it on.

As you leave you can hear the man your sister had been arguing with, “Could someone explain what just happened? Or better yet get me a list of those damn codes for the next time Benson tries to do something stupid.” 

You and Liv make your way to the bar with her security detail. The security sits near the door, while you and Liv sit in a corner. You order a soda and kick your heels off under the table. And Liv orders a glass of wine. You sit there in silence for several minutes before you say, “You remember our other rule, right?” 

“Never go to bed mad?” 

You nod, “You made it up when I was a bratty teenager, and you didn’t want me to have any regrets if something happened to you on the job.” 

She sighs, “Give it to me. It can’t be worse than Lewis.” 

“I’ve been dating Rafael Barba, exclusively, for the past six months. We actually had our first date, the same night you and Ed had your first date.” 

She nods her head a few times, as though she’s trying to come to terms with it. “You’re dating Rafael?” 

“Yeah.” 

She takes a sip of wine and you try to think of a way to explain. “He sees me for me.” 

Liv takes another sip, “I’m going to need more.” 

“I grew up around SVU. You raised me there. I don’t know if you guys realize it or not but you talk down to me, or at me.” 

“I’ve been trying to do better…” 

“And you have been, but it doesn’t erase a decade’s worth of memories or responsibilities. When Lewis took you, no one would really tell me anything. They just kept saying it’s going to be okay. Rafa didn’t. He treated me like an equal, the fact that I’m your sister got me sympathy for the situation, but he still treated me like an adult. He helped keep me calm. We hung out a few times after that, found out we had a lot in common. I asked him out, he said yes. The rest is history.” 

She downs her drink, “My baby sister, and Rafael Barba.” You sit there and let her absorb it, before she turns to you, “Wait, he was who you were with in the Catskills?”

“Yep.” 

She scrubs her hands over her face, “Bad images are flooding my brain.” 

You punch her shoulder, “I saw Cassidy NAKED in our kitchen. You can’t talk.” 

She smiles then, and you know you two are okay, “I know. He makes you happy?” 

“He makes me extremely happy. Except when he talks in Spanish and I have no idea what he’s saying. That still ticks me off.” 

“He wouldn’t be Barba if he didn’t tick you off just a little.” 

“So you don’t hate me?” 

“Nope.” 

“Rafa?” 

She smiles, and takes a sip of your drink as she hugs you, “No sweet girl. I love you both dearly. It’s why I didn’t kill him after your first date.” 

You choke, “What?” 

“Oh come on. You seriously think I didn’t know. He stayed after I left on the Lacey Unknown case. He never came back to work. I had to go to Callier for a warrant. The next day he was humming the song from that damn movie.” 

You interrupt her, “How can you not like pride and Prejudice?” 

She ignores you, “You insisted on being the one to go in and get him for drinks that night. When you started getting ready for a date, I knew.” 

You look at her wide eyed, and she leans in with a smile, “I’m a detective, remember.” 

“That means nothing, you dated Cassidy!” 

“Brian was what I needed at that time. Now text your boyfriend to meet us here, he looked terrified when we left the squad room.” 

“I think he was scared you were going to slip your detail, and confess something ridiculous on national TV.” 

Her voice is quiet, “What if it wasn’t ridiculous? What if it was true?” 

You study her then. You know she’s been in therapy, you know she depends on it now, but you can tell this is eating her alive, “What if it had been me?” 

Her voice grows thick, “What?” 

“Hypothetically. If it had been me, and I was faced with that choice in front of the jury, what would you have told me to do?” 

She bites her lip, before she very quietly says, “I thought of Elliot. I thought of what he would have done. I actually told the bastard about him. I try really hard not to think about him. I’m madly in love with Ed, I wouldn’t change him for the world, but…” 

You take her hand, “You worked with him for thirteen years. You spent more time with him than anyone else. If there were two people in the world who you knew had your back it was Me and Elliot. He saved your ass and you saved his. It’s natural to have wanted him in that moment. It’s natural to have wanted the one person who would have understood.

“It wasn’t romantic love Liv. I knew that. You knew that. He knew that. And Kathy knew that. He was your best friend, and it ended tragically. He may as well have died with the way he left.” 

She hesitates, “When Lewis called me, this morning, I nearly called him. I had his number dialed, I was ready to hit call, because I knew . . . I knew he would come. I knew that together we’d find him faster, and we could end it.” 

“You didn’t though.” 

She shakes her head, “Things have changed, I’ve let more people in. I’ve found and established the foundation for a possible future. If I called him, that would have gone away.” 

“It’ll go away now, if you make that statement. You need to trust them, to get this done. Trust them, like you would have trusted Elliot. Promise me, that you won’t make that statement or go after Lewis.” 

“I’m sorry sweet girl, I can’t…” 

You bite your lip, and for once you wish Liv would lie to you, “I object …” 

“To what?” 

“This entire situation.” 

“Too late.”

You fire off a text to Rafa, and glare at your sister, “You knew the whole time.” 

“Honey, never commit murder because you can’t lie worth a damn.” Rita had said the same thing. 

You order a glass of wine, and avoid looking at your sister. Rafa comes in first. He stops right next to you and looks at Liv, “You knew?.” 

“Figured it out after Pride and Prejudice.” 

“Are you going to kill me?” 

“Only if you hurt my sister.” 

He kisses the top of your head, and your frown melts away, “Al parecer voy a vivir una vida muy larga.” 

Your sister actually answers him in Spanish, “"Eso es lo que quería oír. Además, dominar a otro DA me llevaría mucho tiempo.” 

You groan in frustration, because the two of them speaking a language you don’t know is worse than just one. Rafael’s hand settles on your back. He rubs soothing circles there as he waits for his scotch, and you slowly lean back into his arms. He wraps them around you, and you close your eyes, suddenly very tired. You hear a camera phone go off, and you crack an eye to look at your sister. 

She holds her hands up, “It was a cute moment.” 

Rafa laughs and a minute later Ed finally comes in. He shakes Rafa’s hand before kissing Liv, “She knows that you know?” 

You flip him the bird, and Liv laughs, “She came clean.” 

You do your best to distract Liv by showing her pictures of your brief trip to the Catskills. She coos over the pictures and you’re relieved to see that she might have put her thoughts to rest. When it’s closing time, the four of you head to the hotel where Liv is being kept with her security detail leading the way. Once they’re sure you’re safe, Ed and Rafa leave the two of you alone. 

You sleep in the same bed. You curl up together, and you drift off. You wake up in the morning when the sun hits your face, and you’re alone. You find your phone on the other side of the room, it’s been turned off, and your stomach sinks. 

When you turn it back on there are dozens of missed calls and texts. When you turn on the TV it’s flooded with videos of your sister “confessing.” Your stomach drops because, you know this is going to get worse before it gets better.


	10. Chapter 10

“I could go into personal security? Or I could be an architect?” 

You watch your sister from the other side of the couch. She’s on her second bottle of wine, and she’s fully drunk at this point. You hated it. It brought back memories of your mother, but Liv had warned you ahead of time. Ed had offered to be the one to sit with her while she drank, but this was your job. Your sister’s life was falling down around her, and you were going to be there for her. And if she was too drunk to notice that you switched out the third bottle of wine for sparkling grape juice, then that was her problem. 

Eventually, she falls asleep. You make sure to prop her head up, and you get a glass of water to set on the coffee table. You think about going to sleep, but decide against it. Alcohol poisoning is a real thing, and you don’t care how slim the chance is, you’re not taking it with your sister. 

You try to get some work done, but you find that task impossible. Instead, you watch Liv sleep. Rafa had fought tooth and nail to keep the Brooklyn DA from trying to bring Liv up on charges. You had watched him pace his apartment and yell into his phone while he did so. And though he didn’t say it outloud, you knew he was worried about the indictment, even if he didn’t think the DA would get a guilty verdict. There was a very real chance your sister may not be a cop anymore, and that thought made you feel guilty, because that was all you had hoped for from a young age. 

You hated her being in danger. You had protested heavily as a child whenever she had gone out in uniform. That was where the codes and rules had come from. Liv had always known she was risking her life with her job. Liv was good with computers, maybe you could get her a job at your company? You squashed that idea. As much as you hated it, Liv was meant to be a cop, just like Rafael was meant to be a prosecutor. 

You curl up on your side of the couch, and you start to doze. You’re just about to fall into an actual sleep when there’s a knock at the door. You growl a little bit as you trudge to it. You make sure to look out the peephole, and you find a grinning Rafa out there. 

You yank the door open, “It is three in the morning, why are you awake and smiling?” 

“Declan came through.” 

Your eyes go wide, and you step to the side so he can come in, “What do you mean Declan came through?” 

“He testified that he gave Liv the order to make the statement. He laid into the DA about everything Lewis had done and why Liv was a hero, and the Grand Jury refused to return an indictment. Personally, I’m thrilled because Strauss now looks like an idiot, and any future moves to Manhattan are most likely blocked. The news just leaked to me, they’re making the declaration tomorrow.” 

You raise and eyebrow, “I’m glad this all worked out for you.” 

He rolls his eyes, “Let’s wake Liv and tell her.” 

You step to the side, let him in, and you laugh, “Good luck. She has two bottles of rose in her.” 

He goes further into the apartment to see Liv passed out on the couch. He studies her for a second before saying, “She snores?” 

“For as long as I can remember. Want to stay the night?” 

“Can we sleep on an actual bed or do we have to sleep on the couch with Liv?”

You roll your eyes, grab his tie, and lead him to your bedroom. Once there, you kiss him, “You’re a smart ass. You know that, right?” His hands settle on your hips.

“Es parte de mi encanto.” 

You wake up the next morning with Rafael curled around you. You were only a little surprised to find out he was a cuddly sleeper. You’re quick to close your eyes and snuggle further into him. That’s when you hear someone clear their throat. You look up to find your sister staring down at you. 

“Can I help you?” 

Her voice is rough, “Aspirin?” 

“I put that and a glass of water on the coffee table for you.” 

Her brow furrows, “Coffee table?” 

“The square thing in front of the couch.” 

“Right. What time did Barba get here last night?” 

You feel Rafa’s arm tighten around you, before he turns to bury his head in his pillow. “Around three am. By the way the grand jury refused to return an indictment on you.” 

Her head snaps up and then she groans, she clutches at her skull before saying, “Really?” 

You hear Rafa mutter “really,” into his pillow. 

You run your fingers through his hair in an effort to calm him, “He said last night, that you should get a call sometime today when the paperwork is done.” 

She blinks a few times before she sits down on the edge of your bed, “Wow.” 

This time Rafa lifts his head from the pillow and looks at your sister, “Son las seis de la mañana. Sólo dormimos durante tres horas. Vete.” 

You have no idea what your boyfriend just said, but Liv stares at him, “Eres gruñón por la mañana.”

“I’m grumpy when I have to wait half the night to find out if my best friend is going to trial, and have to share my office with Rita while I turn traitor and come up with possible defense strategies to keep your ass out of jail.” 

You watch your sister melt a little bit, before she smiles, “That is possibly the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. I’m going to go take my aspirin now.” 

You watch her leave and turn back to your boyfriend. He’s glaring at you, “What?” 

“From now on, we stay at my place.” 

“Or we could go back to the Catskills. We never got to finish our weekend away.” 

He groans and sits up, “I wish we could. But I’ve got several big trials coming up, and the 

squad will be kept on a tight leash for a while after this. That means me too.” 

Before you can reply you hear your sister yell, “I made tea, do you two want some?” 

Rafa scowls, “It is six in the morning, why the hell would I want tea. Coffee is what you drink when it’s this early. Tu hermana está loca, y quiere volverme loco a mi también.” 

You cuddle into his side and kiss away the scowl, “Time to get up. I’ll make sure you get your caffeine fix. You get dressed.” 

You go out to the common area, and you’re surprised to find Ed there. He and your sister are in a heated conversation. They stop when you step into the kitchen. You say nothing, just pull out the coffee. 

Rafael appears five minutes later, his tie is hanging around his neck, and his vest is hanging over his arm. He kisses your cheek, and you slide a cup of coffee in front of him. “Eres un ángel.” 

You turn to Liv for a translation, she just smirks. Ed takes pity on you, “He said you’re an angel.” 

Rafa and Liv both stare at him, “What? I took highschool spanish. That wasn’t hard.” 

You hold out your fist and he fistbumps you. 

Rafa rolls his eyes, and gets started tying his tie and putting on his vest. You put an apple into his hand, when he just looks at you, you stare at him, “Eat the damn fruit.” 

He smiles before doing just that. He kisses your cheek, when he’s done. All three of them are about to head out the door, when Liv’s phone rings. Your heart sinks when Liv announces it’s a missing kid case. Apparently she’s back on duty.

You don’t see much of anyone over the next few days. You do stop by Rafa’s office to make him scarf down a salad. You have to bribe him with a brownie to actually eat it. When you get home, Liv is there. She’s just sitting on the couch, staring at the wall. 

You take a seat next to her, and after several minutes you ask, “What are we doing?” 

She huffs out a little smile and turns to you, “Thinking.” 

“About what? Do we get to choose? If not, is it something I’d want to think about? It’s not about Ed, is it? Cause he’s like my brother now, and …” 

She laughs, “You talk too much.” 

You nudge her, “Talk to me.” 

“It’s silly.” 

You roll your eyes, “When I was ten I told you I wanted to be a ballet dancer slash astronaut, and you’re the one who told me I could do it.” 

She takes a deep breath, “I had a pregnancy scare.” 

You blink several times, “Oh.” 

“It was negative, but … I was just really disappointed. And then we found this baby on this case and he was just so sweet, and …” 

You’re quiet for a minute before you ask, “Did you tell Ed?” 

“Yeah. He was actually sad. He didn’t say it, but I could tell. He held me really close and …yeah.” 

You lean back into the couch, “Maybe it’s something the two of you could talk about. You’re only forty-four.” 

“We’ve only been together for six months… I mean… how do I know he’s the one?” 

You think for a minute, “Well for one, he’s not Cassidy or Elliot. So he has that going for him.” She glares at you, but soldier on, “And for another thing, the two of you are crazy about each other. You want the same things, but that’s where my input ends. Your reproductive decisions need to be between the two of you.” You kiss her cheek and head to your room. 

You’re reading a book when you hear Ed come into the apartment, and a minute later Liv sticks her head into your room, “I hate to do this… but Ed and I need to talk and …” 

You smile, “I’m gone.” 

“You sure?” 

“Yep. I can go bug Rafa at his office, get him to leave before ten.” She wishes you luck. 

You grab your camera and head out. It takes half an hour to get to Rafa’s office. You can see him through the glass, buried in his work. You get your camera out. You snap several shots before entering. 

You continue snapping pictures as you enter. He smiles when he sees you, “If you’re going to take pictures of me, then you need to be in them.” You roll your eyes, and go to kiss him. You wind up in his lap, “What’s with the surprise?” 

“Ed and Liv were talking.” 

“They okay?” 

“I think so. They just needed some privacy.” You lean back into his arms, and smile when he peppers your cheeks with kisses. The question escapes before you can stop it, “Rafa, do you want kids?” 

Your heart thunders in your chest, for the two seconds it takes for him to answer, “Yes.” 

You look back at him, “Really?” 

“Does that surprise you?” 

“I don’t know.” 

His smile grows, “I grew up with a lot of cousins. My mother would have had more children if her body would have let her. I’ve always been around kids, I’ve always wanted them. What about you?” 

“Yeah. I want kids. When I was little I dreamed of growing up and finding that perfect guy and have that big family. That traditional family. I always wanted that.” 

His brow furrows, “Right now?” 

You laugh, “No. I’m good where we are right now, but it’s still nice to think about.” 

He smiles, “Es un buen futuro en el que pensar.”


	11. Chapter 11

Rafael is in the middle of writing a brief when Liv stops by and drops a bomb on him, “You know her birthday is in a week, right?” 

His head snaps up, “No. No, I didn’t know that. ¡Maldita sea! She didn’t tell me. Why wouldn’t she tell me?” 

“She’s a little weird about birthdays. When she was little we never had money for them, and I’ve forced birthdays on her ever since. Usually, we keep it low key, and just do dinner and a few presents. This year, I wanted to give you and Ed the chance to come with us.” 

“Of course. My treat.” 

She grins, “I’m not going to argue with that.” 

He starts to pack up his things, “Let me know the place, I’ll make reservations.” 

“Where are you going?” 

“You just told me my girlfriend’s birthday is in a week. Where do you think I’m going?” 

“Hopefully shopping?” 

He rolls his eyes, “It’s been a while since I’ve been in a relationship, but I’m fairly certain sending my assistant out to shop isn’t quite the meaning I want to put behind Y/N’s gift.” 

“You have an idea of what to get her?” 

“Gears are turning. You?” 

“Not a clue. Mind if I tag along?” 

“Tu conduces.”

They go to several big stores, but nothing seems to be right. In the back of his mind, Rafael knows exactly what to get you. He gives it another three hours of searching before he finally tells Liv. “So . . .I have an idea of what to get her.” 

Live glares at him, “So we’ve been wandering around for hours for no reason.” 

“It’s a dog.” The words are said in a grumble. 

Liv’s eyes go wide, “No.” 

He sighs, “There was this three legged dog she saw when we were in the Catskills, we went in and played with him, and her eyes might as well have had hearts in them.” 

“Are you really suggesting driving to the Catskills to get a dog?” 

“Yes.” 

Live adjusts her stance, “She has been asking for a dog since she was eight, and I have successfully avoided getting a dog ever since.” 

He smiles, “Twenty years is a good run Liv, but she’s home alone a lot. I get called out, you get called out. . . a dog might not be a bad idea. Plus, you know she’s going to bring it with her when she stays at my place.” 

Liv is silent for several minutes, “I hope this dog chews through your favorite pair of shoes.” 

“Well that’s just rude.” 

\- - - - - - - - 

They’re not able to drive up to the catskills for several days. He does contact the shelter to make sure the dog is still there. It is. The drive is filled with quips and plans for your birthday. 

“I’m telling you she likes this restaurant. It’s where we had our first date. They have cheesecake that she loves.” 

“But I always get her an icecream cake.” 

Rafa rolls his eyes, “She’s turning twenty-nine Liv.” 

“Fine. Special Italian Restaurant it is.” 

He nods, “We can go back to my place afterwards and show her the dog.” 

Liv grins, “You really don’t want this dog, do you?” 

“If it makes her happy, I don’t care.” He can feel Liv’s eyes on him, and he can’t help but scowl, “What?” 

She grins, “You really love her.” 

He bites the inside of his cheek, “If I haven’t told her, I’m not going to tell you.”

“Okay.” 

\----

Rafael’s eyes roam the adoption center. There’s a smell he can’t quite identify, and he looks out of place in his three piece suit. The girl behind the counter is cheerful, “You called about Anderson, right?” 

Liv answers for him, “Yes. We’re here for … Anderson.” 

They follow her back to a little room, and are asked to wait. When she leaves he turns to 

Liv, “Who names a dog Anderson?” 

“You and Y/N can rename him.” 

“Hmmm.” 

Before he can say anything else, the door opens and there’s the dog. It’s a wiggly mess, and he expects him to go straight to Liv, but instead he goes straight to him. He’s black, white and brown, and fluffy. Rafa can’t help but smile as his fingers sink into the dog’s fur. 

“Hola pequeño.”

The adoption lady runs through the dog’s stats, he refuses to call him Anderson; he’s two years old, good with kids and other dogs. He’s house broken, likes walks, and he’s already fixed.

Rafael fills out the adoption paperwork, and then he and Liv head to a pet store. They pick up food, a bed, a few toys, and then Rafael sees it: a bow tie. When he throws it on top of everything else, Liv laughs. The car ride is filled with dog squirming, sticking his head out the window, and climbing into Rafael’s lap.

There’s three days left before your birthday and he knows he has to keep the dog a secret. He hides him in his apartment, has to go home several times a day to walk him. He hates to admit it, but he actually likes the goofy dog. There’s something calming about him. Rafael starts calling him Benny after Benny Moré the Cuban singer. His grandmother had played his music all the time growing up. He hopes that you were serious about shared custody, because he really likes this dog.

\----

“I can understand why you would want to come, I really can, but the restaurant won’t allow you in.” Beny stares up at him, and for a moment Rafa wonders if he’s gone crazy. He’s talking to a dog. He takes a breath, “Anyways, Necesito que sean un buen chico. You get to meet your mom tonight.” Benny barks once and then Rafael heads out the door. 

He reaches the restaurant first. He has flowers, and the secondary gift, a silver bracelet. Your usual table isn’t big enough for four, so you’re given a booth instead. He sits down and waits. 

Ed is the next to arrive, straight from work, “They’re not here yet?” 

“No, but thanks for coming.” 

Tucker takes the seat across from him, “Did you really get her a dog.” 

“She’s waited twenty years, I thought it was time.” 

Ed grins, “You can’t say no, can you?” 

“Guilty. She doesn’t know, does she? Liv hasn’t dropped any hints, has she?” 

“No, but it’s been killing her. She’s excited.” 

Rafael is mid laugh when you and Liv show up. You smile at him, and he can feel his heart speed up. He stands up, and brings you in for a kiss. “Happy Birthday preciosa.” 

“Thank you, and I’m sorry for not telling you about it.” 

“It’s okay. It’s burned into my mind now.” 

You laugh, “What about you, when’s your birthday?” 

“October twenty-sixth.” 

“Good, gives me time to plan.” 

He presses a kiss to your forehead, “Save it for later. Tonight’s about you.” 

He pulls out your chair for you, and greets Liv with a side hug. Dinner is filled with great food, great conversation, and a fabulous Moscato. 

“Well this has been one of the best birthdays I’ve had in a long time. A big thank you to all of you.” 

Raf smiles at you, “It’s our pleasure.” 

Liv smiles, “Rafa did most of the work. I wanted to go do drinks at the Plaza, but he said you liked this place.” 

“I love it. We had our first date here, and we’ve come here a few times since.” You glance at your boyfriend, “Usually, we sit by the window and we talk for hours and people watch.” 

Ed grins, “But at this table, you have us.” 

Everyone laughs, and when cheesecake is brought out you grin. You and Rafael share a piece, while it was your favorite, it was often too rich to eat the entire thing by yourself. When the cake is finally gone, you figure you’ve been patient enough, “Okay, my inner child is taking over, where are the presents?” 

Liv laughs, “Your main gift is at Rafael’s place.” 

You raise an eyebrow at her, “You got me my boyfriend for my birthday?” 

Rafa smirks, as Liv realizes the double meaning behind her words. “Ewww. No! Don’t make me think that way! It’s an actual gift. Barba and I just went in on it together.” 

Your boyfriend is laughing at this point, but slides a small silver wrapped gift over to you, “That’s your first gift. It’s not much, just something that made me think of you.” 

You pounce on the gift. You rip the paper like a child, what’s inside makes you melt. It’s a silver bangle bracelet with cherry blossoms on it. You can’t believe he remembered. You had mentioned it briefly on one of your earlier dates. You’d been talking about your photography and you had told him the pictures you had taken of the cherry blossoms in DC were some of your favorites. 

You cup his cheek and lean in to peck his lips, “Rafa, it’s beautiful. Thank you.” 

“Sólo por ti amor.”

Liv clears her throat and you turn to face her, “Yes?” 

“We still have the big gift. Let’s head to Barba’s.” 

The four of you catch a cab to Rafel’s apartment, and you stay snuggled into Rafael’s side as you take the elevator up. The four of you stop outside of your door, and you feel your sister’s hands cover your eyes, “Really?” 

“Yep. Ed move to stand in front of her just in case.” 

You hear Ed cough out a laugh, and you grin. After a few seconds you’re shuffled forward. Eventually you end up on the couch with Liv still awkwardly behind you. She’s basically draped over your back. “Can I see the surprise now?”

“Yep.” 

Liv removes her hands and it takes you a minute to register what’s in front of you. You blink several times and you can feel the tears well. In front of you is Rafael, and he’s holding the dog you had seen in the Catskills. He’s a wiggly and happy mess, and you surge forward to run your hands through his fur, “You got me a dog?” 

Rafa laughs, “Si. You really loved him in the Catskills.” 

You look up at your boyfriend, “What did you name him?” 

He blinks, “What do you mean?” 

“You’ve had him several days, you must have been calling him something.” 

Rafa stares at you for a moment before saying, “Benny. I named him Benny after Benny Moré.” 

“I love that. He looks like a Benny.” 

You turn to look at Liv who is cracking up, “What are you laughing about?” 

“He didn’t even want the dog, and now he’s named him Benny, plus he bought him a tie.” 

Your eyes go wide, “You bought him a tie?” 

“Yes. He looks adorable in it.” 

Liv watches as you and Rafael fawn over the dog. It’s a strange thing, this sense of dread mixed with excitement that takes route in her belly. The two of you had lived apart for years, but you had always been her sister. You were the most important person in her life, and she had been the most important person in yours. But now? She can see it changing. She sees how you look at Rafael, with a love that she’s never seen in your eyes. She can also see the way Rafael looks at you; as though his world starts and ends with your presence. It hits her then: you’re gown. You’re not putting your life on hold, you’re moving forward. Just like she should. 

She and Ed stay a little while longer. They play with Beny, who she has to admit is adorable. She also makes a mental note of the fact that Rafael has bought more stuff for the dog since they went to the pet store. She’ll tease him about that later. 

She leaves you there with a kiss and an extra long hug, and she and Ed slowly make their way back to her apartment. 

“Penny for your thoughts.” 

“She really loves him, and he really loves her.” She takes a deep breath, “If he breaks her heart I’m going to have to kill him.” 

Ed smiles, “He won’t.” 

“If he does, will you be my alibi?” 

He laughs, “I’ll help you hide the body.” 

There’s another moment of silence before he asks, “Have you thought anymore about what we talked about?” 

Liv stops and smiles, “Yeah. I have,” 

“And?” 

She turns to look at him, “Let’s have a baby.”


	12. Chapter 12

“Should I be nervous?” 

Rafael’s eyes stay focused on the stretch of road you’re walking, your hand is gripped in his right hand, he has a white knuckle grip on Benny’s leash, and he looks more than a little nervous, “Not at all, why?” 

Your eyes narrow a bit, “Because you look like someone who’s about to be jumped.” 

His lips twist a bit, “That’s always a possibility.” You press up against his side, and nudge him with your shoulder. He lets out a sigh, “I haven’t been to the neighborhood since Alex made me public enemy number one. El barrio . . . the neighborhood is not happy with me.” 

Your brow scrunches together, “That was nearly eight months ago . . . Right after we started dating. You haven’t seen your family in all that time?” 

“I’ve seen abuelita, taken her out to dinner quite a few times, but she wouldn’t let me come to her, so I had to send a car service. In order for her to let us pick her up today, I had to use you as a bargaining chip. ” 

You laugh, “That’s what I’m here for. What about your mother?” 

“The last phone call was a few months ago. It ended in an argument. She thinks I was wrong to betray Alex. He was doing important work. I believe she used the words ‘zipper problem.’”

You bite the inside of your cheek. The pain in his voice is palpable. Lucia Barba had hurt him, his mother hadn’t stood by him. You tuck into his side in a show of support, “He was sexting and grooming a fifteen year old girl. You did the right thing.” 

He shakes his head, “They see Alex as el salvador here. He stayed behind, and I turned traitor by going to law school.” 

“You did not turn traitor. You have literally put away murderers and rapists. You make New York safer.” 

He smiles and stops walking long enough to place a kiss on your hairline, “Eres demasiado buena conmigo.” 

You make it to his abuelita’s with no trouble. Or at least that’s what you think until you see the stairs. Rafael gives you a knowing look. Benny gives a bark, and the three of you head up the stairs. You have to stop to let Benny rest a few times, but you eventually make it to his grandmother’s door. You grin when he pulls out a key. 

“Abuelita, estamos aquí.”

A moment later an older woman’s head pokes out from around the door, and she smiles. Rafa answers with his own and moves in to hug and kiss her. You smile as she wraps him in a bear hug, that he eagerly returns. “Rafi, justo a tiempo. Y esta debe ser tu novia, ella es tan bonita.”

You don’t know what she said, but Rafa’s smile grows, “Abuelita, this is my girlfriend Y/N.” 

She moves forward and has you wrapped in a hug before you can say anything. You immediately return it, “It is so nice to meet you. Rafi has told me so much about you. You’re so pretty.” 

You blush, “Thank you. You’re pretty too.” And she is. Catalina still has a head of thick hair, she’s still standing up straight, she has a kind face, and the same eyes as Rafael.

His abuelita smiles, “That’s very sweet.” 

Benny barks and her attention immediately goes to him. He’s sitting by Rafael’s leg, “¡Miren a este pequeño! Es precioso. ¿Cuál es su nombre?”

“Benny.” 

“After Benny More? You used to love listening to him with el abuelo!” 

He smiles, “Yes.” 

His abuelita turns to you, “Rafi and my husband would dance around Benny when he would stay with us. He would chant una y otra vez until we put the music on.” 

You watch Rafa blush, and grin, “He’s yet to take me out dancing, but that might have more to do with my two left feet.” 

Rafa grins, “We can go out dancing this week if you want.” 

The two of you grin at each other like fools, and Catalina doesn’t miss it. She decides in that moment that you’re good for her grandson. “When Rafi called and told me the two of you got a dog, I picked up treats. I’m going to go get them.” 

She’s gone before she’s finished her sentence. Rafael gives you an amused look before taking Benny’s leash off. The dog is quick to follow after Catalina, while Rafa makes his way over to you. “We haven’t even been here ten minutes and she’s already brought up a childhood story.” 

You roll your eyes, “You’d heard at least ten of my embarrassing childhood stories before we even started dating. You’ll live, and if you complain I’ll ask her for baby photos. I know she has them.” 

He grins, “Eres malvada.”

A minute later Catalina is back, with an adoring Benny at her side, and just like Rafa she’s talking to him, “I gave you two treats. That’s enough for now. If you’re a buen chico you can have more later.” 

The four of you head out a few minutes later, after Rafa has checked that everything is secure and off. Your group heads back to your apartment, and the minute you step through the door you get a call from work. You slip away to take it and allow the two of them a few minutes. 

Rafael watches his grandmother with careful eyes as she looks around. She’s been to his apartment numerous times, but she hasn’t been by since you moved in a few days ago. She turns to look at him, “You made room for her.” 

He grins, “Si. I gave her half the closet and half of the dresser.” 

“It’s more than that. Her things are out and around, you’ve blended your lives together Rafi.” 

“It’s not that big of a deal . . .” 

“It’s a very big deal. You’ve let this woman in. You’ve adopted a dog. She knows things about you. Te ves feliz.” 

He smiles, leans against the kitchen counter, and says, “Okay, so maybe it’s a big deal. She just. . . she gets me. She doesn’t get on my case for having to work late, or when I cancel plans and at the same time I find myself actually being able to leave work at work. I want to come home, volver a su lado. I love her.” 

Catalina felt her heart expand. She’d never seen Rafi like this. He had always been so serious and studious. Those things had kept him safe growing up, but it had also kept people at a distance. Even Yelina who he had been head over heels for, had never really understood him. 

“Do you mean that?” 

They were both torn out of their thoughts by your sudden reappearance. You hadn’t meant to eavesdrop. You’d finished your call and had been on your way out when you had heard Rafael’s confession. You watch a moment of panic flash in his eyes. You don’t say anything, you just lean against the door frame, and smile at him reassuringly. The panic is gone at the look , and he takes three long strides towards you and reaches for you. You go to him, and he kisses you, when he pulls back the hands settle on your lower back, caging you into his body, “I love you. Te amo mucho.”

You smile up at him, “I love you too. And it only took us seven months and your grandmother’s presence to say it.” 

He laughs and Catalina grins, “I’m not complaining, I like being a part of big moments.”

Rafa kisses the top of your head and you snuggle into his chest, “Want to be a part of another?” 

Rafa looks down at you confused and you explain, “My sister, Liv, was on the phone. She and my brother-in-law just took in a little boy. With any luck, at the end of the year, they will be allowed to adopt him. They just got him home a few hours ago, and she wanted to know if we wanted to come over and meet him. She invited you too, Ms. Diaz.” 

“Call me abuelita, and I would love to go and play with el bebé!” 

Rafa smiles, “Let’s make dinner first. Y/N is banned from the kitchen, she can’t boil water without it burning.” 

You roll your eyes in mock anger before admitting, “He’s right, I can’t cook. I can however, wash a dish with the best of them.” 

“You’ve broken two of my plates since we started dating.” 

“Were they, or were they not clean counselor?”

He laughs, kisses the top of your head again and moves towards the kitchen. Several hours later the three of you head to Liv’s place. Benny is left at home, you’re afraid all the excitement might stress him out. Rafael pouts at this. 

The three of you make your way to Liv’s, and Catalina is quick to tell you stories about Rafael as a baby. Apparently your boyfriend had very chubby cheeks as a baby, and liked to suck on his toes. Rafa is quick to roll his eyes, but he never asks her to stop. 

At the apartment building, Raf is quick to comment on the elevator, and you realize he’s not that subtle outside the courtroom. You’d heard him complain about the stairs and safety of his abuelita’s building over the past several months. 

You still have your key so you let the three of you in and you feel your eyes go wide at the mess. Rafael helps Catalina step over things, as you try to clear a path. He looks at you, “Did the toy box explode or something?” 

His grandmother swats him, “Son padres primerizos, se bueno.”

You leave the two of them to find the couch and go search for Liv and Ed. You find them on the bed in their room, with a child you assume is Noah between them. You snap a picture before you clear your throat. They turn to look at you and you grin, “So did the toy tornado kill the wicked witch or?” 

“Don’t be a smarty pants, and come meet your nephew.” 

“Smarty pants?” 

Ed nods, “He’s a year old, and a bit behind on his language development, but we don’t want him saying bad words.” 

You settle on the bed and look at the little boy. He’s adorable, but a little unsure of you. After several minutes though he warms up and offers you one of his toys. That’s when you announce, “Rafa and his grandmother are out in the den. You want to show him off a bit?” 

Ed is off the bed first, and the video camera on his phone is rolling. Liv laughs and you roll your eyes. You make your way out first while Liv scoops Noah up. Rafa grins as you make introductions, “Liv, Ed, Noah, this is Catalina Diaz, Rafael’s grandmother. Abuelita this my sister Olivia, my brother-in-law Ed, and my new nephew Noah.” 

Everyone says hello and settles on the couch. Rafa grins and places his arm around you while his grandmother completely wins over Noah, Liv, and Ed. Eventually, Catalina steals Noah away to her lap, and Rafael gets closer. The two of them talk in Spanish, and Rafael uses the little stuffed elephant you bought to entertain him. Eventually, she passes Noah to Rafa, and he takes the baby with an ease you don’t expect. Liv and Ed are shocked and Catalina fills in the blanks, “He used to babysit his cousins all the time. He’s actually very good with babies. He’ll change a diaper and everything.”

Rafael grins and whispers to Noah, “And when you’re older I’ll give you legal advice.” 

You watch your boyfriend bounce your nephew around and he catches your eye. He motions you over with his head, and then situates Noah in your arms. You don’t have much experience with babies, but you know he’s there and that makes it better. 

Once you have the hold right he whispers, “Relax, you’ve got him.” And his hands settle on your waist so that his front is pushed against your back. He continues to make silly faces at Noah, and you start to relax. 

The three of you stay for several hours before going home. Before you go to bed, your phone chimes and there, in a message from Liv, is a picture of you, Rafael, and Noah. As well as one of you, Catalina, and Rafael on the couch, with Noah on the floor in front of you. You decide to get them printed and framed the next day. You get copies for Rafael and his Abuelita as well. 

You spend the rest of the weekend visiting with Catalina; you take her out for dinner, and go on walks with Benny, and even watch a movie in Spanish. Rafael whispers translations in your ear during the entire thing. When it’s time to take her home you’re actually sad, and make her promise to do this again soon. The three of you have just gotten her settled in her apartment, and you’re making your way down the street when you run into the last person you’d expect. “Rafael?” 

You feel your boyfriend’s grip tighten on your hand, as you stop in front of a man you know from the papers: Alex Muñoz. Benny growls at him. 

“Alex.” 

“Didn’t think you’d have the guts to show yourself here after what you did to me. Los traidores no son bienvenidos en este barrio.” 

“You did it to yourself Alex. I gave you every warning I could. I risked my job for you.” 

“A likely story. What are you doing here? Like I said, you’re not welcome here.” 

You squeeze Rafael's hand reassuringly and it must help, because he’s suddenly the prosecutor you’ve seen stalking the halls of the court house, “I was dropping off my Abuelita Alex. She spent the weekend with us.You don’t own the neighborhood, you can’t tell me I’m not welcome, y tu traicionaste a Eddie. I have nothing else to say to you.” 

You can tell Alex is surprised. You’re not sure if it’s because Rafael has you and a three-legged dog with him, or that Rafael has just stood up to him, either way he just keeps repeating himself. “You’re a traitor Rafael.” 

“And you’re a child pornographer. Adiós Alex.” 

You bite your lip to keep from laughing as the three of you step around him and head for a cab. When you get home you immediately take his face in your hands and say, “That was hot as hell.” and then you drag your boyfriend back to your bedroom.


End file.
